Marshmellows

Waiting to hear back from Puerto Rico... Jt mentioned that he thinks we should have heard back by now...

I guess I feel like I am STARING AT MARSHMELLOWS....

Mormon Messages

(that will ONLY make sense if you click on the link :)

to be Better than I am

Jt and I just joined a 90 Day Goal Group
oh, you have never heard of a 90 Day Goal Group? it is AWESOME :)

Here is the idea--
you and a group of friends/strangers get together. individually you set personal goals in 5 categories that you will work on for the next 90 days. one of those friends/strangers will be your Accountability Partner. their job is to check in with you TWICE a day to help you achieve your goals while you do the same for them.

( i hear a lot of you snickering thinking "good luck getting a hold of Katie TWICE a day!" she hasn't called ME back in months!!)

but it is part of the Rules- so yes, i answer my phone twice a day. (and sorry, all, that fills my quota)

this partner idea is amazing. it helps to have someone ASK you IF you actually DID your goals. (especially someone who is not your cute spouse) and give you some great ideas. it also helps for day 37 when you feel like giving up and they won't let you. it also feels good to help someone else reach their goals.


Ever since my Mission I have been a little Obsessed with being "EFFECTIVE". For anyone who has ever read the old Missionary Guide and remembers page after page of comparisons between "Effective" and "Less Effective" Missionary Work they know what I am talking about. It was drilled in to us to use our time wisely, to Be Effective. (after all- we are on the Lord's time)

The other thing I picked up on my Mission was the LOVE of GOAL SETTING. (I guess I should have learned this with Personal Progress- but regretfully I did not) I LOVED setting Goals with my Companions. Especially STRETCHING GOALS. The ones we knew we could ONLY ACCOMPLISH with the HELP of the Lord. The ones that pushed us. That kept us working hard and feeling exhausted yet successful.

SO- OF COURSE I LOVE THIS 90 DAY GOAL GROUP!

So- in case anyone wants to know what I will be doing for the next 90 days- Here you go.
Feel free to ASK me anytime how it is going. (preferably in Spanish...)

SPIRITUAL GOALS

• Attend the Temple Twice a Month for 90 Days
• Take a question to my Scripture Study Daily and write about the answer and experience in my Scripture Journal
• Pray before I leave my room every morning

PHYSICAL GOALS

• Train for a Half Marathon
• Work Out at least 5 days a Week
• Only ONE Candy/Treat a Week :(
• Eat TWO yummy Veggies a Day

MENTAL GOALS

• Study Spanish a minimum of 4 hours a Week
• Initiate a Conversation in Spanish 1 a Week
• Spend 5 minutes a Night Planning for the Next Day

FINANCIAL GOALS

• Attend the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Program Every Week
• Have a Monthly Budget Meeting with JT - followed by kissing :)

PERSONAL GOALS

• No Social Internet until the kids are in Bed (email, fb, Blogs)
• Organize and Archive the Mess that is my Family Pictures (4 hours minumum per week)
• Wake up at 7am Daily

So, there you go. WISH ME LUCK! I am really excited- a little bit overwhelmed- but I plan to Blog about the experience as I go:)

Jenni's Fitness Challenge

At the beginning of the week as I was EATING my VALENTINE'S DAY CANDY while BAKING CUP CAKES and WAITING for my LEMON CHEESECAKE to finish setting, I started to think about this post.

Mostly because I was thinking I needed to GIVE AWAY a little bit of this deliciousness before I CONSUMED it ALL, SINGLE HANDEDLY. But EVERYONE I could think of was doing JENNI'S FITNESS CHALLENGE! Bleh!

I started to laugh to myself at all of you crazy people- not eating AFTER 7pm, not eating treats like CUPPY CAKES, having to tell yourself NO! Ha ha ha ha! (that is my Evil Villain Laugh in case you couldn't hear it)

I started to think of taking pictures of ALL of my YUMMY TREATS and then POSTING them on my blog!
(don't worry, you all know me, I would NEVER get around to downloading them off of my camera!)

AND THEN I WENT TO THE GYM.

I go to the gym almost EVERYDAY. I work my butt off. I lift weights. I do spin. I run miles. I swim. I do yoga. I do kick boxing. You name it, I do it.

BUT as I went to WEIGH IN - before my session with the Personal Trainer- something STRANGE HAPPENED. The scale was OFF. Right? It was DEFINITELY HEAVIER than I remember from a few weeks ago. "It must be broken" I tried to brush it off- telling myself my FAVORITE MOTTO:

I WORKOUT SO I CAN EAT WHAT I WANT

But today- I pulled out a pair of jeans I haven't worn in a few months...

Back in September I bought my FIRST BELT. (that is right- I NEVER wear BELTS. I don't like the idea of something that goes around my waist and is CONSTANTLY MEASURING MY WAIST- so I don't wear them) Back in September, my jeans were TOO BIG and I was FORCED to BUY A BELT.

ANYWAYS, back to TODAY. I pulled out the OLD JEANS and zipped them up as I looked for the BELT. (which really IS a Four Letter Word to me) But something STRANGE happened again! Suddenly, I did not NEED A BELT! The TOO SMALL JEANS were SNUG!!

WHAT?!! (YOUR TURN TO LAUGH AT ME! Ha Ha Ha Ha!!)

I CAN'T EAT WHATEVER I WANT? EVEN IF I DO WORKOUT EVERYDAY?

SO- THE JOKE IS ON ME.

Jenni, sign me up for that Challenge- I don't care that I am month late- I need to make some changes!!
(but, I don't have to give up my cup cakes do I????)

"Friendly" Drivers

Dear "Friendly" Drivers,

Aren't ANY of you RUNNERS??

Normally I LIKE friendly drivers! Normally I like it when someone lets you over or yields when they are suppose to. Normally I like it when they are courteous and aware of others on the road.

But when I am RUNNING and I go the LONG WAY AROUND the Round A Bout, and I am coming up to the curb and you SEE ME COMING...

DON'T BE NICE.
DON'T GIVE ME THE WAVE TO CROSS THE STREET AND WAIT FOR ME.

Don't you KNOW I am TRYING to get a BREAK?? That I WANT to stand on the curb, pretending to check my heart rate or stretch my legs. I want just 9 seconds to recover while I am "waiting" for the cars to pass. (that is why I GO the LONG WAY around the round about- 3 more chances for a break!!) I want to pretend that I am bummed that I have to wait for YOU to pass before I can get back to my workout. But I don't.

I WANT THE BREAK.

SO if you see me running, and I am coming up to the curb with a look of anticipation- it is an act.

Keep Driving. Don't be so nice. You aren't doing me any favors. :)

Sincerely,
the Girl who is usually holding her side, panting, and limping on the side of the road.
The Runner.

the Parable of the Laundry

I shared this insight today in Relief Society and decided it needed to be posted :)

When JT and I got married we were both working full time and I was doing hair out to the house and he was going to school. We were both really busy. But we still naturally went towards our own "roles".

(JT would get the cars washed- I would do the Laundry)

Laundry had never really bothered me before. But now that I was sorting another persons' socks on top of my own- I became resentful of my "role".

(important side note: JT did NOT inflict this role on me- I just assumed the role knowing that it seemed like the "Wifey" thing to do)

I found myself Envious of him when he opened his dresser to Magically find Freshly Folded Clothes just waiting to be warn and tossed in the bin. I wondered how is would FEEL to be a Guy and to have this Royal Service right in your own home. To never have to think about changing the laundry at 11:00pm at night or to fold and put away clothes with Mind Numbing "Ground Hog's Day" repetitiveness. (that movie stresses me out and has been a fear of mine in many other areas besides Laundry...) How could men be SO lucky??

For 6 years this has floated in the back of my mind.

(Don't get me wrong - I do feel GOOD DOING my job. I do recognize that it is part of my Job-Description as Co- C.E.O of the Tyler Household. And I am grateful (as was pointed out to me in Relief Society today) for the Front Loader Washing Machine that I have, and the dryer (that I missed every single time I put on crispy air dried clothes on my mission). Yes, I DID just insert parenthesis INSIDE of parenthesis!!)

BUT finally the other day- as I SWEPT my DEBIT CARD through the machine at the Fred Meyer it hit me.

MAGIC.

Here I was spending Money that I did not make.

I did not wake up at 5;30 in the evening to go to work all night in a crazy E.R., I did not show dozens of houses to clients in the pouring rain, I was not exhausted from dealing with a boss, co-workers, and patients that were driving me nuts. In fact-The I LOVE my little "worker bees"! In fact, they are the reason I LOVE being the C.E.O.

So how did this Money MAGICALLY APPEAR in my bank account making it possible for me to buy our family Groceries, Hot Wheels, and Ghetto Grocery Store Mascara (yes, I am still trying to find a good one). This magical money that allows me to go out for Girl's Nights, ice cream cones with my kids, and sometimes a Well-Deserved Caffeine Free Frappucino! (because, that Folding Laundry is tough work!)

So here it is:

The Parable of the Laundry.

Thank you, Babe. Thank you for working hard for our family so that I can work hard at home. Thank you for doing things in your job that are not pleasant so that I can enjoy mine more fully. Thank you for NEVER ONCE teaching ME this parable by complaining about the money you make and I spend. Thank you for "magically" making things happen.

Now, go check the closet-- there is a surprise waiting for you!

How I feel about THAT

I recently read an article that was posted on my Sister in Law's Blog from the Wall Street Journal about PARENTING. I really disagreed with one of the perspectives and have no where else to voice this disappointment than my Blog. So here it goes out in to the Blog-O-Sphere.
here is the article- which I DID find VERY interesting and agreed with MANY of the points on Parenting.

ONE point, however, that I disgree with is the perspective given by the writer's husband saying that "(children) don't choose to be born... It's parents that foist life on their kids. Kids don't owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids."

This concept will not leave my mind. And it is breaking my heart.

Do people REALLY believe that we "FOIST LIFE" on our children? What a SAD world to live in if we believe that WE are so POWERFUL to FOIST LIFE and to CREATE without REGARD! Of course Children CHOOSE to be born. What kind of God would send His own Spirit children to earth if they DID NOT WANT TO GO there? Thank Goodness for the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation! To know that we ALL had the CHOICE to come to earth. To be born. To LIVE! And if we are HERE we know that we made that choice, stood by it, and fought for it. No one FORCED me to be born.

I know that we did not all necessarily CHOOSE our families and parents. We did not CHOOSE our circumstances. And there are MANY instances where children have not been born into good homes under good circumstances. (another reason to be Grateful for the Plan of Salvation!) Aren't we lucky to have The Proclamation to the World about FAMILIES? Defining that it is the RIGHT of a CHILD to be born into a loving family with a father and mother. I am so sorry for the children who have been denied that opportunity. My heart really does go out to them and to those that do not want to be in that situation. But even with the wrong circumstances, with rough up bringings,and negligent parenting; there is the Atonement. The chance to overcome it all. To forgive our parents if necessary. And to be grateful for them.

If NOTHING else (and there is SO much MORE) be grateful to our Wonderful Mothers who SACRIFICED so much to bring children into this world! Who gave up sushi and skinny jeans. Whose hair falls out after the baby is 3 months and then SLOWLY grows back in! Whose figures may be gone forever! Whose boobs sag to their waists! (oops, TMI) Whose careers, ambitions and hobbies may be on the back burners for a few years. Those Mothers who tossed and turned for 9 months with Restless Leg Syndrome, Heartburn, Fatigue, and Forgetfullness. Those mothers who have said Good Bye to cute clothes so that their kids can wear them. Those mothers who stay home from Girl's Nights when their little ones have a fever. Those Mothers who save and save and save to take their family to Disney Land only to have their 5 years old cry the whole time because she HAD to wear SHORTS when she WANTED to WEAR A SKIRT! (that was for my own Mother...sorry...) Those Mothers who held their newborn for the First time and cried because they could not understand HOW they could love ANYTHING as much as their little one. How can we owe those mother's nothing?

(RANDOM THOUGHT: I just watched Gone With the Wind and I keep hearing Rhett Buttler say to Scarlett "A CAT is a Better Mother than you!" OUCH! but still kinda funny)

and Dads
I didn't forget them either.

Go to work EVERYDAY to hand over the paycheck to the family. Do you know how many Season Tickets, Buffalo Wings, and Shiny Chromy stuff they could buy if they weren't supporting a family. Dads who hold the hand and marvel as their Baby comes into the world. Dads who hang up pictures of chubby faces and squishy toes all over their offices at work. Who brag about Athletic Skills and futures in the NFL when their sons throw their first ball. Who sing in the middle of the night to their little girls. Who carry a baby carrier in one hand, with a toddler on one hip, and a little girl riding piggy back to the Library, the Zoo, and Church. Who get Thrown Up on in the middle of the night. (there is my Shout Out to Shawn and JT who have both recently survived this) Who give up new Mountain Bikes if it means a new Stroller for his little Princess. (I meant me. I am the one who wanted the Hummer of All Strollers... not cadillac. I have a BOB *smile and sigh*)

SO I guess what I am trying to say is:
HOW CAN WE OWE THESE PARENTS NOTHING?

Most parents are not doing something SELFISH by FOISTING LIFE on their CHILD. (If I wanted to do something SELFISH it would NOT be HAVING KIDS.) I am THANKFUL for the gift it is to HAVE these sweet children. And we need to be Thankful for the Gift of Life that was given to us by Parents and a Loving Heavenly Father.

I DO hope that as the husband in the article said - they will DO THEIR DUTY to THEIR KIDS. That of course will be one of my greatest joys in life.

It reminds me of the Lesson on Sunday when one of the girls asked WHAT it means when the scriptures say "To turn the hearts of the Fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers."



And that is how I feel about that.

De Ja Vu

You know the feeling...

the shudder and chill that rolls up your back

the eerie feeling that you have "been here before"

the glitch in the Matrix

De Ja Vu.

Here I am. Again.

I can almost hear a bus full of kids on the way home from a Field Trip singing:

"Same Song,

Second Verse,

A Little Bit Louder,

And a Whole Lot Worse!"

And there they go again.

What is giving me this unnerving feeling?

P.A. School.

Wasn't I just here? Writing about this? On this same Blog? Has it already been a year?

It is the same story:

Boy applies to P.A. School. Boy (and cute Wifie) wait to hear back. Boy gets the small, thin envelopes of rejection in the mail. This time, no interviews. This time just "no thank you". Boy and Wifie are confused. How can this Keep Happening to him? Colleagues keep saying things like "How could this happen?" and "You were robbed". Wifie just looks at the mail box in confusion.

Just like the Song says- it IS "a Little Bit Louder" this time around. How does Rejection feel SO LOUD even in a tiny envelope? There is a strange, familiar voice in Rejection this time. But, it ISN'T "a Whole Lot Worse".

Is it because I have done this enough to gain the "Aquired Taste" for Rejection? Is it because we knew that the competition would be even tougher this year?

OR is it because SOMEHOW this time it is DIFFERENT...

IT ISN'T THE END OF THE WORLD. Last year, it felt like it was. I guess there is something to be said for Surviving something you thought you couldn't. Something to be said for the Comfort that comes from falling onto your knees. From falling into your husbands' arms. From leaning on friends and leaning on faith. There is something to be said for hitting your own personal Rock Bottom (don't snicker at me if you are thinking to yourself that I have NO IDEA what Rock Bottom is-- YOU have no idea what this past year has been like for us) There is something to be said for Realizing that the world really DOES keep turning.

And another year rolls past.

So am I saying "what's another year of applying? we'll get in next year?"

Am I saying "I really can't do this another time?"

I don't know.

What I DO know, and what I AM saying is that I am TRYING to Feel Peace.

I am CONFIDENT that the Lord knows what He is doing. (Didn't I already write this quote? About how He will do what is for our own good??)

Didn't I LEARN THIS PRINCIPLE ALREADY??

Last Year?? When it felt like the End of The WORLD. (here is the Ironic Twist that we have all been waiting for) Wasn't NOT GETTING IN TO P.A. SCHOOL LAST YEAR the BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO OUR FAMILY!?

That's right.

I said Rock Bottom-

and then I said "BEST thing that Ever Happened!"

We GREW so much. I wish I could write ALL of the reasons why we NEEDED to stay here this past year. Why it saved us to not be in school, not be away from our home, not away from each other. So even though I wondered how I would Survive - How it could all work out - How it could be for our Good- it was.

I guess THAT is what is FAMILIAR about this De Ja Vu ripple up my neck that tingles and feels uncomfortable. I HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE. I don't WANT to BE BACK HERE AGAIN.

But I am.

I am still disappointed. I am still scared about what to do next. I am still confused about how this keeps happening to us.

But I am hopeful. Hopefull that the Best is Yet to Come. Hopeful that we will be stronger for this. Hopeful that the "window" that needs to be opened will be opened. Hopeful that our faith and prayers will be heard and answered.

We are still waiting to hear back from ONE MORE SCHOOL. And guess which one that is? Puerto Rico. Our DREAM COME TRUE. I can't stop praying yet. Not when I hear Riley's sweet voice ask Heavenly Father to "help Daddy get in to P.A. school" every time she prays. But I can't help wondering if I am the modern day Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego who were so Faithful to say their God would save them, but so willing to do His will that they added "BUT IF NOT..."

I hope this is not another "but if not..." moment for us. After all- we know how their story ended :)

All I can say is that I have Been Here Before. And I am Here Again.