Thursday, March 10, 2016

Throw Up

(This is another Blog Post that I wrote years ago, and forgot to Publish. I was probably waiting to have JT proofread it, and then forgot all about it. So if there are grammatical errors, just ignore them, because I am not going to wait for him to proofread it and forget about it a second time!)

JT is out of town on a hike with a friend.  So it is only fitting that today be the day that Macie eats a Chocolate Granola Bar and then throws it up all over the carpet.  I thought it was just because she was upset about losing her favorite Kitty "Boom Boom"  and was so overwhelmed that she threw up.  (It wouldn't be the first time.)  If I had realized it was flu bug I would not have put her in the car to drive around for an hour dropping off invitations for Riley's Birthday Party.  I would not have done that because my worst fear is a child throwing up in the car.

(Correction, my worst fear is actually a house fire.)

So, I guess, my Second Worst Fear is my child throwing up in the car.

Having worked for 4 years in an Emergency Room seeing all kinds of disgusting stuff (by the way,  I am encouraging him to write a blog about all of the insane things he has seen on the night shift in the ER: crazy!) JT is pretty much immune to throw up and most other bodily functions that make me want to cry.  So he is in charge of all throw up.  What?  I am underutilizing a guy studying to be a Physician's Assistant?  Yeah, maybe.

It is only fitting (with my luck) that JT would be out of town when the flu bug hit our house.  And that I would be naive enough to put a child in a car seat that has thrown up earlier that day!

And even though I said my Second Worst Fear is car throw up- I might be wrong.

It might be multiple throw up.

You see, even though I scrubbed the carpets and pulled the car seat (Why did I have to buy a Britax Car Seat?  Yeah, they are suppose to be the safest seat for my offspring, but they are a nightmare to take apart!) out of the car to disinfect and scrub down, I am still not in the clear.

My Third Worst Fear is that it will spread to one of my other two kids (who are now sleeping soundly in the same bedroom as The Puker).  I am in a constant state of paranoia.  I am throwing away toothbrushes right and left.  I am firing up the incinerator to dispose of any clothes we wore, looked at, or even thought about today that could now be contaminated.  I have scrubbed my own hands raw with antibacterial soap.  And I have reflected on everything we have eaten today and the possible ramifications of those choices!

Once the Throw Up Fear sets in (I guess it is called Emetophobia, I learned that from my Unicorn friend Josh when I read his blog about throw up, and then cried myself to sleep in fear) there is no controlling it.

If JT was here, to be cleaning it all up, he would also be quarantined.  The poor guy.  When he is sick (or even if he comes in contact with throw up, that I am aware of) I am freaked out about him touching me or even breathing near me.  ( I already have a weird, irrational, obsessive fear of breathing other people's air, so this just amplifies my insanity.) I might even quarantine myself.

But he isn't here. Tonight, it is just me, The Puker, and fear... I don't think any of us will be sleeping.

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