Monday, December 27, 2010


Ok, Ladies, if MY BROWS look bad... so do yours :)

I guess we need another WAX NIGHT!

Here is how it goes:


(Last time, when Jenni did it- she had a Craft Night at her house- so everyone could come with their projects, work on them, eat some treats and get in line for their Brows or whatever else. You could also do a movie night- or just a hang out- whatever works. Don't feel like you need to do anything exciting- no decorations, nothing fancy, just looking good while hanging out)




SO, LET'S HAVE A GIRLS NIGHT!! I had so much fun last time at Jenni's house, and I think I have worked out some kinks to fit you all in better this time :)

Let me know IF/WHEN you want to SCHEDULE your PARTY!

Lip or Chin- $5
Full Face- $15
Legs or Bikini- call me

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

So to Honor Him

This year JT and I have been listening to Josh Groban's Christmas Album. And we have been LOVING "Little Drummer Boy".

Every time I listen to it I close me eyes and smile.

I love to picture a quiet manger in the middle of the night. I imagine a very young very sweet and very exhausted Mary snuggling a tiny newborn. I picture her happy in the stable and grateful that she wasn't surrounded by strangers in a crowded Inn during this precious moment. Thankful for her loving Husband who I am sure made her as comfortable as he possibly could, and felt sorrow that he could not give her and the Baby more that night. I am sure she was overwhelmed with the daunting challenge of raising the Son of God. And of course having known that according to Isaiah He would be "despised and rejected" and that He would be "a man of many sorrows". (It is unthinkable to imagine the heartache I would feel if my own son were despised and rejected.) And then to be "wounded for Our transgressions". Poor Mary. She must have been holding Him so tight that night. Protecting Him for as long as she could, until He would be called upon to be Her protector and Savior.

And right when my heart almost breaks for Mary I see the Humble shepherds outside of the manger. They must have been hesitant to interrupt such a beautiful moment, but then anxious to see and kneel before their King. I picture Mary being happy and gentle and understanding that she would always have to share Her Baby Boy. And grateful for the few that would not be there to despise Him, but to worship and Love Him.

And then of course- in the back of the crowd is this fictitious Little Drummer Boy. (don't worry, I have read Luke enough to know he wasn't really there :)

I love hearing Josh Groban sing about this boy. Being desirous to come and see the Baby. And the comfort in the realization that they were both Poor. I can see him nervously asking if he can play for the baby. And the thing I love about this song is how it builds. How I can literally hear the drummer boy get confident and excited as he drums on his little drum. The genuine desire to play his "BEST for Him." And my favorite part- is when he belts out the phrase "So to HONOR Him".

I get the chills every time.

How did this Little Drummer Boy know to give his Best for the Baby King? Who was poor, and alone in a manger. There was no throne, or crown, there was not even a cradle. And yet he, and the shepherds, and later the wise men all knew that they would come to Honor Him.

I am so thankful for this time of year. For beautiful music that inspires me and helps me to imagine what it would have been like to be there. Would I have been one of those in the crowded Inn? So grateful for a nice bed, and unwilling to congratulate the new mother in the manger outside? Would I have been looking for a Star to lead me to my Savior? Would I have been worthy and humble enough to see and hear the Angels?

Would I have Played My BEST for Him? So to HONOR Him?

I hope that I would have. I hope that I will. I hope that I will start this New Year, just like the New Star and look towards Him, point towards Him, and reflect His Light. I hope that I will be humble like the shepherds, and faithful like the wise men. I hope that I will be as selfless as Joseph (I wish we knew more about him, he must have been so special). And that I will be like Mary- and protect Him. Protect His name in my home, protect His Gospel wherever I go, protect His children that He has allowed me to raise.

And I hope that I will be like that Little Drummer Boy. Using my gifts and talents to the Best of my abilities to Honor Him.

Merry Christmas

Because you HAVE to close your eyes and LISTEN to the Song too!
(this is a link, so click here and listen to Josh with your eyes closed)

Monday, December 13, 2010

Happy Birthday to ME

When I was little I remember my mom was ALWAYS the FIRST to say Happy Birthday. And she would ALWAYS say
"I remember the Day you were born... I WAS THERE"
Which always made us smile because OF COURSE she was there!

Here are some of my favorite memories:

AGE 8:
Turning 8 when my oldest brother turned 16, so he was able to Baptize me. pretty cool.

Asking for a watch and opening up a present that was an empty box and wanting to cry- until my brother realized he had forgotten to put the watch IN the box.

Age 9:
Asking for "music" since I knew how cool that was. (Being 1986 Big "Boom Boxes" were the thing) My brother gave me "Wierd Al Yankovich"....

Age 10:
My FIRST Crimper! Yep, I remember being in the 4th/5th grade class split and being SO cool because I could Crimp my hair!

High School:
Waking up to go to Seminary- not knowing that my family had changed ALL of the clocks in the house to an HOUR EARLIER. We then went to my friend's house (the Merrill's) and had Heart Shaped Waffles with a bunch of my friends BEFORE SEMINARY!
(Yep, they were all crazy enough to wake up an hour early to have breakfast! I THINK that was sophomore year... I don't know)

Showing up at school to strangers saying Happy Birthday to me... and then seeing Posters with Pictures of me all over the school saying to wish me a Happy Birthday (I think this was my 16th)
I had good friends and a great mom, huh?

The Mission:
A SURPRISE P-Day Birthday Party at the "park" in Downtown Antananarivo. My companions Blind Folded me and took me in a taxi and through the crazy streets to the park where the rest of the missionaries were. :)(you have all heard me say that I LOVED ALL of my companions! I was so blessed)

Age 25:
Crying because I felt SO OLD (because I thought I should be married with 10 kids by 25! lol. SO glad I was NOT married yet!) - to a guy that could not understand WHY I thought 25 was old!! (yeah, he was right)

Age 30:
(kind of going to tear-up with this one)
Holding hands with Heidi as we crossed the Finish Line for my first 10k! What a wonderful present to myself! I don't know WHERE I got the idea that it would be cool to run a 10k on my 30th Birthday- but it was the perfect way to start out my 30's!
(p.s. Kristin COULD have held hands like a dork with me and Heidi but she was too fast for me!lol)

Age 32:
Woke up to Macie's sweet smile.
Kicked my butt at the gym.
Then we took the kids Downtown to Macy's and got their pictures with Santa Clause! They were adorable! Then we walked around, looking at the train, riding the Carousel, and eating THE MOST DELICIOUS APPLE FRITTER at Top Pot Dougnuts.
And after a Heavenly dinner of Papa John's pizza (scary how much I love it!) Jt and the kids gave me presents and even BAKED ME A CAKE!
Then when it couldn't get much better, some girlfriends sent me a bunch of Sweet messages (DITR), and lots of facebook Love!

So- I don't know if I could pick a FAVORITE BIRTHDAY- but I can say that each year gets better and better. I can't believe how HAPPY I am. I feel SO BLESSED to have the best friends, a wonderful family (extended included!), and so many happy memories.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Great Stocking Dilemma

Here it is- The great 6 year dilemma of the Christmas Stocking.

(This is a 6 year dilemma because TODAY is our 6th ANNIVERSARY!!-- Making it 6 years that I have struggled with this problem)


I try to not be this person- but sometimes I am. The person who wants things to be just right- and if they aren't just right- then I will just WAIT to do it until it can be just right.

I will not go to Disneyland with my kids until I can afford to pay for it all in cash- and be able to buy the toys I want and stay in the cool hotel.
(which is why I am not planning this trip for at least two more years, this isn't about money- it is about doing it right)

I will not put socks on that don't match. I would rather have barefoot, cold feet than two different socks on. (not because of the matchy thing- it is a texture thing-- don't ask)

I would rather NOT have Christmas Lights on my house than to have funky lights flipped different directions.

The issue with the Stockings:

I have SEARCHED the internet, every Holiday store, every possible sale for "the RIGHT Christmas Stockings"

Christmas Stockings are difficult. They are kind of like the centerpiece of the Christmas Decorations. (ok, I just reread this- and realized that OF COURSE- Your Nativity is the Centerpiece of Christmas...)Anyways, Your tree changes every year (at least it SHOULD- accept for all of you Fake Tree People), other decorations are more subtle, you can even change WHERE in the house you place your other decorations. (Ugly Angel can go on that shelf over there this year) But the STOCKINGS are HUNG by the CHIMNEY with CARE.

Right there- the mantle- the middle of the Living Room. You hang up your Stockings every year. Which means there is no Freedom to Change Styles. Luckily I did not buy them when we were Newly Weds. I would have bought plain red and white stockings and then added Felt Green Lettering with our names on them BECAUSE that is what I HAD GROWING UP. Now, mom, before you get all offended, I LOVE THOSE STOCKINGS. (I love the picture of Beth and me in our bare bums just out of the bath tub admiring the long line of stockings over the fire place) But the point is- that was MY FAMILY'S TRADITION, not JT's, and not OURS.

If I would have bought them two years later- I would have bought the Pottery Barn ones with Snowflakes that I like and paid the extra money for them to be personalized with our names on them. Therefore spending WAY too much money, and then I would have discovered the next year (when it would be time to buy Blake's) that they would discontinue that line of Stockings leaving me with 3 matching and a new one for Blake!

(as we know by now, I CAN NOT do the NOT MATCHING thing)

THEN if I bought them that year, I would realize how much my style would have changed. I would have bought the crazy sassy ones I saw at Pier 1 with high heals and sparkles and crazy colors. I would have loved that they were unconventional and crazy.

But then I would have had ANOTHER BABY! And I would have gone back to Pier 1 and tried to buy a 5th one in that style and found that they have changed their designs too and don't have the same line. And if they did have one close enough to appear match- it would still look like Macie was our After Thought child!

SO I have still NEVER BOUGHT Christmas Stockings.
I have never seen the PERFECT STOCKING that really matches my style. That isn't going to go out of style by the next Christmas.
But that isn't the ONLY PROBLEM...
(because I DID see the PERFECT STOCKINGS the other day for $30 each!! And could not BARE to spend $150 on STOCKINGS!!)
But the other problem is: I have never known HOW MANY TO BUY.

Do I just buy 5? WHAT IF we have ANOTHER CHILD IN 5 YEARS? Am I suppose to buy EXTRAS JUST IN CASE??- and then have the Monogrammed with the names they MIGHT be?? (maybe this is why my mom used Green Felt)

WHAT IF I BUY THOSE PERFECT BUT EXPENSIVE ONES AND CHANGE MY MIND AND DECIDE I LOVE THE VICTORIAN STYLE INSTEAD? (I can't even write that without cringing and laughing a little, that will never happen)


so, here we are, 6 Christmases together and No Stockings.

oh, maybe I should just SEW them.... I never thought of that...
just kidding


Thursday, December 2, 2010


Oh well, better late than never!

Riley LOVED digging in the guts and pulling out the seeds. She is SO NOT MY DAUGHTER!

This is how I dig in pumpkins! I am NOT a GUTS kind of girl. Ask my little sister, I think I convinced her to dig out all of the guts in my pumpkins growing up! I should have thought of gloves as a kid!

I DO like the CARVING part. I am really proud of this little lady. You can't tell, but she has Hi-Lights that Glow in the dark, and the longest false eye lashes I have ever seen on a pumpkin. Yeah, she's a cutie.

JT carved the kids because I was working on mine. This is how we do things. He does the Yucky Stuff. Then he helps the kids do theirs while I work on mine :) Oh, and I take the pictures.

What is on my kids' faces?? OH, that. They went into the Bathroom together with the markers they had for "painting" the pumpkins... and ended up making faces on each other! Thank goodness for Washable Markers!!

This is Riley as a princess. Why is this my only pic? You know why, I am lame.

Macie was our other princess! Not a great pic either. Once again. I am lame.

I didn't even get one of Blake at the Trunk or Treat party?? Don't act surprised- I am lame!

So here we are.
Riley was a Princess
Macie was, of course, a Princess.
Blake was an Astronaut.
Jt was dressed as The World's Best Dad :)
Katie- was just happy to be dressed and all in one piece and to have at least blogged it a few months later!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Have you ever....

Have you ever been at the Gym, listening to your ipod and doing your abs at the end of your workout... over on the mats where you can stretch or whatever... and accidentally Passed some Gas????

And then tried to play it off like you didn't notice because if you can't HEAR it- you obviously DIDN'T DO it. And then you could not make eye contact with the other guy who was there doing his push ups.

Yeah, me neither...

Monday, November 15, 2010

Things I learned from my Mother


  • to Talk with my HANDS (no, not sign language- more like flailing)
  • that Name Brand doesn't always matter-- accept for TOMATO SOUP and MAC n CHEESE. (and don't follow the directions on the Campbell can and add water like JT did when we first got married and I almost cried...)
  • shopping at Thrift Stores is COOL! (she was the original Ashlee Crabtree- before Ashlee made it cool) And that Value Village is "overpriced".
  • how to mark my scriptures (ok, that was actually my Seminary Teacher, but she WAS my Seminary Teacher so I think it still counts)
  • to let my daughter wear a TuTu all winter long if she wants to (I just read how this is a good developmental thing for young children to have ownership over decisions that they are capable of making... I don't know if my mom knew that or if I was just TOO STUBBORN to fight with at age 5)
  • that the Dollar Store is a wonderful wonderful place (I was too cool for that information until I moved closer to one- now I am hooked!)
  • that a Glue Gun is an essential tool in any home
  • how to DECORATE a CAKE and the importance of creating a Rockin' cake for your Kids' Birthdays because they will brag about it and you will feel really cool!
  • how to sing- and a LOVE of BARBARA STREISAND's Christmas Music as well as Carol King, Neil Diamond and Jim Croche (no not their Christmas Music)... ahhhh I am smiling just thinking about them. (oh, my mom doesn't actually TEACH how to sing. But growing up I thought she was so crazy to turn down Broadway to raise a family!! At least I THOUGHT she had done that - since she was such a wonderful singer!... ... ... ... this is awkward since I don't know how to finish this one...)
  • Since I am on the subject of her amazing-ness (has anyone read Josh's blog about 'ness') she knows ALL the answers on JEOPARDY.
  • how to make Peanut Brittle, Elephant Ears, Swedish Pancakes and other yummy favorites
  • the importance of a Good Sense of Humor and laughing at your own jokes-- oh, and that it is kind of funny to call your parents by their First Names ;0)
Just thinking of her today and all of the fun things she has taught me :)

Won't it be funny to see what Riley says about me in 20 years...
  • a love for ALL things SPARKLY
  • a need for 100 pairs of shoes
  • how to make a mess in the kitchen
we'll see

Sunday, November 14, 2010

This is for YOU

I THOUGHT I was writing this Blog for myself

I THOUGHT this was to document the evolution and events of my little family.

(you can SEE how diligent I have been with that by noticing the pictures on the side of the blog of my beautiful family... wait, are we missing someone? is Blake still crawling in that picture?)

I THOUGHT I was cool enough to not care what other people think.


Ok, all of you BLOG STALKERS out there. I KNOW you are reading this. I KNOW you know who you are. I KNOW are busy/lazy/boreing/forgetful but seriously-- HOW WILL I KNOW IF ANYONE IS READING THIS IF YOU NEVER LEAVE A COMMENT??

oh, what? There is something I can do through Google to find out who has been visiting my Blog? or how many of you there really are? Oh, that thing my sister in law tried to tell me how to do- but I was to computer illiterate to figure out how to do it on my own, that?

Well, I don't want to do that (ok, yes, I do. I seriously just could not figure out how to do it. But I did find out you could COPY something by pushing Ctrl and C at the same time!) Anyways, I just want you to LEAVE A COMMENT ALREADY!!

Is it rude to *yell* at my cyber audience?

sorry, I guess I got a little carried away.

Just, you know, let me know if you are reading this- before I give up and start posting really lame stuff...

oh, what? my stuff IS lame already? Ok, well, YOU don't have to leave a comment then. But everyone else does.


Friday, November 12, 2010


Hey Everyone-
We have a CHANGE of PLANS for the Girls' Night:

a) Jenni Warner wants to have a project night on Sat and we didn't think hubbies would like us girls out on Friday AND Saturday

b) Blake is STILL throwing up- and Macie just started in on the Diarhea so I doubt you all want to come over HERE tonight-- although I have been spraying everything down all day!

SO Let's move the Girl's Night WAX Party/Project Party/ Whatever you want to call it to get out of the House Night to:


BRING YOUR PROJECTS AND YOUR BROWS (or whatever else you need to wax) AND LET'S PARTY!

EVERYONE IS INVITED. Call me for address if you don't have it :)

If you were planning to come tonight and you CAN'T do tomorrow night- CALL ME I CAN STILL WAX TONIGHT :) It just may not be as much fun as a Girl's Night!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Girl's Night

Even if you don't feel like waxing- come play at my house (since JT will be at work and I will be baking anyways!)

the good news and the bad news


I have REALLY REALLY decided to not do Hair anymore... I know, I know, I say this every few months- but this time I am actually going to be strong and follow through on this. (as hard as it is) Sorry Everyone. :(

I will still probably do a few YW's hair in the ward that I trade hair for Baby Sitting, so if you see a YW and she says I did her hair- don't think I am being selective or anything (I just can't handle PAYING a babysitter!)



AND I decided I will try doing a WAX NIGHT GIRL'S NIGHT

8pm - till I fall asleep

If you are not interested in Waxing just come and hang out. (You know my house always has Yummy things to eat- and there should be lots of laughing and no kids around)

If you ARE interested in Waxing please let me know. I will do this like an Open House so you can come whatever time you like- OR you can schedule a specific time - I will just keep the wax hot so when we are sick of eating we can start waxing!

Brows: $8
Lip or Chin: $5
Lower Leg: $20
Full Leg; $35
Bikini: $20 (By Appointment Only) really, don't be a chicken-- you know you have always wanted to try it :)

let me know if you are stopping by :)

Saturday, October 30, 2010


Family Night- a few weeks ago.

ME: Service is when we do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return.


RILEY: If I help you make your bed? Is that service?

ME: Yeah Riley! That's it! What else is Service?

RILEY: Helping Mommy?

ME: Yep, Helping Mommy clean the bathrooms is service.
(This is where I need to tell that I have discovered that my children LOVE to clean TOILETS! I give them the scrubber wand - with the disposable soapy thing at the end - and they can be entertained for hours!!)

ME: What else?

RILEY: If Blake helps wipe my bum when I go potty, is that service?

Yep, you read that right.

ME: (not wanting to stifle any desire to serve) Uh, yeah, I guess that IS service...

SO, Primary President, do you have a lot of stickers for Blake's "Acts of LOVE", we have had a lot of SERVICE around our house lately...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

loving Riley Kate

It was Riley's Birthday last month... don't worry, pics of the cup cakes and butterflies are still to come. I have been thinking so much about when she was born and then we had a conversation the other day that I knew I needed to write down.

On my mission I had a few reoccurring dreams. One was a Nightmare, and the other was wonderful. In the Wonderful Dream, I would be playing with this little girl. She was about 8 I would guess. She looked like my oldest niece but with dark hair. I really loved this little girl. There were always some younger kids around her, but I only specifically remember talking with her. Every time I was about to wake up I would tell this little girl that it was time for me to go. She would start to cry and hold me. I would be so confused Why this little girl was so upset with me leaving her? I would ask what is wrong and she would say "We just MISS you SO MUCH" Right then I would look at the other little children that were near her and realize that I was their mom! The thought would suddenly occur to me that we had known each other for a very long time. Right when I would realize it, I would wake up. And I would miss her deeply.

Since I am very prone to Nightmares, I have tried to not pay attention to my dreams. And I usually find myself saying "It was JUST a dream, it was JUST a dream" In this case I knew it was more and looked forward to the next time that I would have that dream. (I think it happened 3 times total on my mission)

I guess I always knew that my oldest would be this little girl.

When I had the ultrasound that told me that Riley was a girl, I cried. I was terrified that she would turn out Just Like ME! I worried that she would face my trials, and make my same choices. I worried at how hard I knew her life might be. The only reassurance that I found was in that dream.

Finally, on September 18 (8 days late) She was born. As I was pushing (not very effectively due to the VERY HEAVY epidural I had with her, making it impossible to know if I was even pushing at all) the doctor told me she could feel her hair! I was so shocked (since Nelson's don't tend to have babies with much hair) and so excited. I told JT that if she was a brunette we could name her Riley. (since it seemed like a Brunette name to me, and would fit the girl in the dream) When they finally handed her to me (after many attempts by the nurse who was thwarted by an obscene amount of Maconium) I felt like I recognized her. I felt overwhelmed with love. And Comforted that she was no longer missing me.

Well, last week, as were driving in the car Riley began to ask me about when I got married. She asked if She was IN my TUMMY when we got married. Of course, I told her she was NOT. (thank goodness,because the Temple frowns on that) She asked if Blake or Macie was in my tummy. I said no, and explained that she was with Heavenly Father. She got very serious, even sad, and told me. "Yeah, I was crying." I said "no, Riley, you were with Heavenly Father, you were very happy" She then told me more sternly "No, Mommy, I WAS CRYING. I MISSED you SO MUCH. And then Blake started to cry and I hugged him. And then Macie started to cry, so I hugged her too."

I could feel the Spirit so strong. I even started to tear up driving my car! It was so tender to hear her sweet voice, it was almost like hearing it in my mission dream again. There are a lot of things I don't know about this life, the life before, and the next life to come-- but one thing that I KNOW is that the Family is EVERYTHING in all three. I am not sure how it works. I am just grateful for the tiny glimpses into Heaven that we are given.

Riley is so special to me.

Growing up I realized how my mom has a different relationship with each of her children. Now that I have a third I see that this is unavoidable (even necessary) because each child is so different. It doesn't mean that I love Blake or Macie any less. Not at all. It just means that we will have unique experiences with each of our children.

Riley is my sweetest little friend and shadow. I love the fun we have to together. I love her laugh. And her desire to see others laugh. I love her tender heart that is always aware of her younger siblings. I love her excitement and passion for life. I love her little brain that seems to always be going and going. And how much she loves learning. I love her fashion sense! I love her pretty blue eyes. I love that she sneaks in my bed at night. Especially the nights that JT is not there. I love that she wants me to sing Mary's Lullaby every night before she goes to bed. I love that she loves to bake with me and wants to go jogging with me. I love how she says her name "Wiyey Kate". I love how she jumps into my arms beaming when she has done something right. I love that she can pick up Giant Beetles without screaming. I love that she wants to wear my make up.

I love that she is all mine.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Score ONE for JT

Ever since we were cheesy Newly Weds (OK, sometimes we still are cheesy) JT and I have played a little game. You know the game. You played it in High School with your first Boyfriend when your mom would tell you it was time to get off the phone.

You would say "oh, I gotta go."
And He would say "Oh, ok..."
Then you would say "bye"
And He would say "bye"
Then you would WAIT to see if the other HUNG UP THE PHONE! When you could still hear him breathing you would say "You hang up first!" and He would say "No, YOU hang up first!"

And somehow we understand that the desire to not be the One to "Hang Up First" indicates Affection. We must like them MORE if we won't hang up first.

Well, JT and I have grown up-- but some things never change...

Me: "I love you, Babe"
JT: "I know, But I love YOU MORE"
Me: "No, You couldn't possibly love me more. I love YOU more"
JT: "No, I love YOU more."

This could go on for awhile.

Sometimes we try to make our point by throwing in what we consider proof of our "more" love. Like when I say - "I let you have the covers last night" or he says "but I love you more, because I bought the ice cream you like today"
(I should interject that we are never arguing about this. It is NOT a leverage thing, but a silly lovey-dovey-your-mushiness-is-nauseating- kind of game.)


He was telling me one groggy afternoon when he woke up from after working a lot of long nights about the experience he had...

He began with a few nights before when he got home from work in the middle of the night. He used the last of the toilet paper. He had been awake for most of 24 hours and was very tired. Knowing that I often wake up in my sleep to use the bathroom and how disappointed I would be to find the empty roll- he went to refill it. Unfortunately we were out of T.P. in the master bath. SO he went to the kids' bathroom, which was also out. SO he went downstairs and looked under the sink-- which was also out! So he took the roll off of the downstairs bathroom and brought it upstairs for me-- so that I would have it ready when I woke up...

But before he could finish the story, I had a flashback of that morning:
I was running late to get to my class at the gym. JT had just come home and I was just leaving. He looked tired. I ran in- to finish getting ready-- and used the last of the T.P.... No biggie, I will change it when I get home from the gym (I was not aware at this time, the good deed he had done for me a few nights earlier)...apparently, some time between my leaving the house and that afternoon-- JT needed the restroom...

I think you can see where this was going.
JT wins.

That is just the kind of person he is. The kind of guy who hunts down toilet paper so that I am not stranded in the bathroom in the middle of the night. (I am the girl who thinks T.P. just magically appears!) He is the kind of guy who really tries to live by the Golden Rule of Treat Others How You Want to Be Treated. He is the kind of guy who thinks of little things like surprising me with my favorite candy,(I am the girl who can't remember anyone's favorite candy) or cleaning the shower because he knows I can't stand it, or letting me sleep in, or taking a cold shower so I can have all the warm water, or EVERY time we get into bed asking if I need anything else (like a glass of water) and then hopping out of bed to go get it. (might I mention, that if he wasn't so sweet to get me water before I go to bed- I might not have to pee in the middle of the night!)

The bottom line is- JT WINS. Sometimes I really do just think about myself. He is so aware of my needs- and I am so aware of MY needs-- that I am not sure who is aware of HIS needs! lol.

SO while JT WINS for replacing the toilet paper, and then me leaving it bone dry for him without even a little scrap clinging to the roll ---



Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Ever since I had Macie I have received a lot of attention for having 3 kids so close together.

Most women, especially those who are already done with the toddler/baby stage, will say
"Wow, you are busy!"
I can see the smile in their eyes when they remember that phase in their life, and hear the empathy in their voice when we both know this is the polite way to say "man, you are crazy."

But today I was following behind JT as he was leaving the gym with our 3 kids. A man was holding the door open and asked, very surprised, "Are ALL these kids YOURS?" I saw JT smile and nod, and then the man said
"Wow! You've Been Busy!"


Isn't it interesting that Women will empathize with the chaos that I face as I chase after 3 children and the "busy", hectic phase of life I am now in--

While Men will Congratulate each other on THE GETTING TO this stage!!

So I guess that makes ME "CRAZY" and JT a "HERO"!!

Monday, September 27, 2010



I know you have all been waiting for this moment (I know this because your roots look terrible!!!)

Starting at 8am

I will REALLY only be doing hair ONE SATURDAY a month and MAYBE one EVENING so if you could PLEASE try to come on that day :)

Hair Cut $20
Foil $60 (or more for long or thick hair)

Brow $8
Chin/Lip $5

P.S. anyone up for a Bikini??

Let me know if you need an appointment!
ALSO-- I will take all orders from the Beauty Supply and you can pick them up that Saturday (even if you aren't getting your hair done- but it is looking really nappy so you need some straightener or hairspray or whatever- you can let me know and pick it up that day) It is wholesale Salon products - so about 40% off of normal retail.

Selling My House, Part II

My brother in law informed me last night that the last post is what "they" call O.C.D.

(Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)...

"THEY" are obviously NOT female :) and have never had to Clean the Carpets.

*wink * wink *
aren't we ALL a little bit like that??

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Selling My House...

When my Little Sister moved to England she left behind her CARPET CLEANER...

Lately I have been noticing a few spots and I decided that YESTERDAY would be the day to CLEAN my CARPETS...

After I put the kids down I got the Carpet Cleaner out. The directions suggested Vacuuming the floor first. Duh. SO I got the Vacuum out, then I realized what a MESS my house was. SO I began picking up toys. Which made me realize how unorganized my toys are! SO I thought about better ways to organize them. As I was finding a new home for a toy, I tripped over the Carpet Cleaner chord and remembered that I was suppose to cleaning my Carpets. I abandoned organizing and got back to vacuuming. Then I realized it would be a waste of time to clean JUST the carpet that "shows", so I would need to move all the furniture. After pulling out one part of the couch I realized this is MORE than I could do by myself.

SO I resigned to the SPOT CLEANER and attacking the spots. Have you ever noticed that removing the BIG SPOT should seem like a RELIEF and like you might be done... when really it just makes you notice the SMALL SPOTS MORE!! And now you have EVEN MORE WORK than you thought?? (Gospel Principle here?? I won't go into all that with this Post)

As I worked on what started as a few BIG SPOTS and multiplied into a MILLION LITTLE SPOTS I began to wonder WHY there were so many spots on my two year old carpet?? Was someone secretly SNEAKING food out of my kitchen and spilling it on their way up stairs? (my kids, thankfully, have still not figured out sneaking food - which would only leave me to blame since JT is very careful and I am not, so that CAN'T be it) I looked into my Kitchen hoping for an explanation when I noticed (because I was ground level) how HORRIFYING my KITCHEN FLOOR is!!!

No one is SNEAKING food out of the kitchen! We are TRACKING it out on our FEET!!!

This was more than I could take so I cleaned the stairs and called it a night.

TODAY, after getting all of my little ones in bed for naps I crept downstairs to start it again.

This time, I would begin IN the KITCHEN (the SOURCE of the problem) I got out the Mop, but realized I would definitely need to SWEEP first. (my BIGGEST pet peeve on earth is SWEEPING) So I grabbed my pink broom (which I bought hoping it would cheer my up to do my least favorite chore with my most favorite color... it actually does help) As I started to sweep a path through the cereal, bits of crayon from Blake chewing them last night, and every other scary thing on my floor I noticed the Counter Tops.... Can you guess where this is going?

HOW could I sweep with dirty Counter Tops?? There is nothing worse than having a shiny clean floor and then wiping a counter top only to have a crumb fall to the ground!

So, set a side the Carpet Cleaner for the Vacuum, and the Vacuum for the Spot Cleaner, and the Spot Cleaner for the Mop, and the Mop for the Broom and now the Broom for the Sponge!!

I WISH it stopped here.

Of course I noticed how awful my counters are! Sometime I am guilty of wiping the counter but not getting into the cracks between the counter and the wall, or the back splash, or around the edges of my sugar canister. All of these SNEAKY little places where shouting out at me "You CAN'T SWEEP IF I'M NOT CLEAN!!"

Now nap time is drawing to an end. I hear rustling through the Baby Monitor.


How on EARTH are we suppose to KEEP UP?? In a few minutes, 3 little ones will be awake and set back out on their daily mission of destroying my home!! (don't get me wrong-- I am actually OK with the mass destruction of our home-- it is the CLEANING UP I can't handle!) By the time I get them back down for bed tonight we will have gotten out all of the toys I tried to organize, I will make a dinner which will get crumbs all over my counter tops that are bound to be wiped onto the floor, which won't matter because Blake will have tracked dirt in from the backyard, while Riley drips paint from her art project, and Macie spits Green Beans down her bumbo, missing my lap, directly back onto that floor!! Just in time for JT to come home, step in it and accidentally spread it to my Living Room Carpet. So when I get the Carpet Cleaner back out- I will be right back in the KITCHEN!!

It is so discouraging I don't even know WHERE to begin!!

I guess the ONLY thing TO DO is let the little ones mess it up. Keep making yummy dinners that end up on our feet and in the Living Room and just SELL THE DARN HOUSE WHEN MY KIDS ARE OLDER AND DONE DESTROYING IT!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Slug

While running the other morning I had an interesting encounter with a slug.

I was out running at a near by lake. I came around the corner on my first lap and looked down just in time to see a little baby slug right in the middle of the trail. I leaped and twisted to avoid stepping on it. I am not sure if I was concerned about squishing the little guy or of his little guts getting on my running shoes. Either way- I narrowly missed the squirmy little slug. I smiled to myself about risking my ankles to save a baby slug and kept running.

As I came around the corner on my second lap, I looked down to dodge him- but noticed that he had made it the two feet to the edge of the pavement and out of my way. I kind of laughed when I saw that I had run a half mile in the time it took him to get a foot out of the way.

Victoriously I congratulated myself for at least being faster than a slug. I may have even been a little smug about it. (you can tell I am rarely faster than anyone!)

Then as I was running away I thought of how that little baby slug was probably laughing at ME and thinking how he had already made it to the edge of the path while I was right back in the same spot as before!!

So WHO is the real winner? The one who seems to just make it to their destination in time to avoid disaster-- or the one who keeps ending up in the same spot every half mile??

Apparently I need new music on my Ipod if I have this much time to ponder while I am running!!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

She's Baa-aack

What? I didn't realize she was ever gone??

I don't know if this is an apology, an explanation, or hopefully to help someone else.

A little over a month ago I was talking to a friend who also recently had a baby, and she was describing her struggle with Post Pardum Depression. As I listened I felt so bad for her. "Glad I don't have that... " Then she said something that really struck me "I just wanted to feel like myself again"

For the past few months I have NOT felt like MYSELF. I thought it was just everyday struggles (you know the whole waiting to get in to Pacific only to not get in, to get my hopes up for Puerto Rico to not get in either, to realize it is time to start the whole yucky reapplication process again stuff) I thought I was just avoiding things I liked because they were distracting me from taking care of my family. ("calling a friend is time away from my baby", I know, it sounds nuts) I thought I was staying up all night because I don't NEED sleep (not because I have insomnia and CAN'T fall asleep) And I did not realize that these are all signs of depression.

I thought that because I am not crying, or staying in bed I must not be depressed. I thought that if I just prayed more, or studied my scriptures more I would feel better. I thought that Satan was just working REALLY hard to discourage me. I found myself thinking "IT shouldn't be THIS hard!" "I shouldn't have to read my scriptures for HOURS a day to feel happy" "I shouldn't still feel stressed even after I go to the gym" (which use to be my release) "My calling should not feel overwhelming" "I am avoiding my friends because I just don't have time"

Suddenly after talking to this friend it ALL MADE SENSE. This coincidentally began 6 weeks after Macie was born! And just progressively got worse as time went on.

Everyone reacts differently to Depression. I started to have sever panic attacks, and then to have times where I completely shut down. I didn't know how to talk to any one about it- because I was still struggling to even have a desire TO talk to anyone. Finally- thanks to the wonderful world of prescription medicine (which I am normally not a fan of medicine) and some wonderful blessings (which I definitely AM a fan of!) I am FINALLY STARTING TO FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN.

Most of you probably had no idea. But some of you noticed and wondered what the heck was wrong with me :)
Most of you aren't too surprised when I don't answer my phone, or check my email, or respond to a text. But some of you did notice. And I hope you realize (my favorite line from the YSA years) It's not you- It's ME.

SO I feel like I'm Back, mostly.
What does that mean? Ok, let's be honest, I still probably won't answer my phone, or check my email, or remember get togethers that I am suppose to go to. BUT I will at least WANT to do those things! I still may need some patience as you try to invite me to play groups, or for me to call you back, but I am trying. :)

So the moral of the story is:
This wacky depression stuff can happen to ANYONE. And it isn't cool. But I am grateful for friends who bring flowers, jam, and words of encouragement, who keep trying to call me. I am grateful for friends who talk about things like depression- because it makes it easier for me to talk about it and accept it. I am grateful for a husband who has been absolutely patient and tender hearted as he has watched his wife fall completely apart and slowly come back together. I am grateful for "happy pills" that actually work! I am grateful that Macie has STILL been my Peace through all of this. I am grateful for the Atonement, and the recognition that it even covers this. That He knows exactly how it feels to not be myself and not like it. And I am grateful to start feeling like I'm coming back.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


If it wasn't MY own LIFE I might be able to laugh about this. I might even be able to give encouraging words of advice. I would probably say something like

"Everything will work out for the best. It always does"

Because that is USUALLY what I say to people when they say that they don't know HOW things are going to work out for them.

I would even share one of my favorite quotes:



Elder Richard G. Scott November Ensign 1995

I might think that their situation doesn't seem THAT bad, so why are they losing FAITH?

"It could be worse"

But I AM talking about MY own LIFE. And it really isn't funny anymore. :)


That is right, we didn't get accepted off of the wait list for Pacific University last month, but we discovered what seemed like a dream come true-- a new program in Puerto Rico (where JT served his mission) After waiting 3 weeks for a response we found out that ONCE AGAIN Jt is on the WAIT LIST.


I could go into the details about how this might seem like a step forward-- but it is actually really two steps back -- but the story is too depressing. So, I am not laughing. Not even at the irony of it all. I am just asking:


Wednesday, June 9, 2010

could I be this cool??

I attended a Fireside a few months ago with Media as the Topic. The wonderful speakers addressed negative media and it's influence, but also POSITIVE media and it's power as well.

A lot of you know that I have been pretty "unplugged" this last month or so. I haven't returned your emails (OK that is normal) or checked your blogs (sorry) I haven't even watched T.V. I guess you could say it is my own personal DE-TOX. I have been trying to get rid of things that are not necessarily BAD but that DISTRACT me from the things that are BETTER. (and if you have had a conversation with me-- you know I am EASILY DISTRACTED!)

I have thought a lot about POSITIVE MEDIA. The speaker described the internet as an outlet to SHARE THE GOSPEL. And encouraged us to use it to do just that. I know that most of the people who look at my Blog are already members of my own faith-- so I guess this won't be much of a MISSIONARY tool-- but I am still going to use this chance to share my Testimony when I can.

I realize that just because we are members of His church doesn't mean that we don't have heartache, bad days, questions, doubts, and even sometimes feel very lost. So I guess we ALL need to hear eachother's Testimonies :)

SO Let's get to the part that makes me REALLY COOL...

I downloaded this Mormon Message from YouTube! That's right! JT isn't even here! I did this all by myself!! Maybe I should send an application to Microsoft! :)

(now that I bragged, I should actually check to make sure it works if you click on it!! how do I do that??)

Anyways- Here is a little Treat for all of us who need the reminder :) I know this is true.

Friday, June 4, 2010


Normally I don't like to ask for parenting help on my Blog... for a few reasons.

1. I usually think I am right and that no one else is as smart as I am. (why am I smiling that there is actually some weird truth to that statement! What is wrong with me??)

2. I don't want lame advise.

3. I usually read books to answer my questions.

4. I don't want to have to admit that I actually may not even use the advise given to me. (ex: you coming up to me on Sunday asking how your advise worked out for me- and I don't even remember what you told me to try!)

5. I usually like to Blog about funny things and not beg for help!

With all of that said.... HELP

Riley still naps. SHE is usually the one who asks to have books and go to sleep. She will usually sleep for about 1 1/2 - 2 hours in the afternoon. I LOVE THIS! I have even read a lot supporting the importance of naps till age 4 and have felt good that Riley still takes them. It is a wonderful blessing with a new baby to still have the older 2 taking naps. Because of Nap Time, I have time in the afternoon to snuggle Macie- or to finally clean the kitchen from Breakfast, or read, or fold laundry or any number of wonderful things that are hard to do with all of them running around.

So what is the problem?? She started to wake up GRUMPY from her naps. And it lasts about 2 hours. Is this just the age? Grumpy, whiney, sassy? OR is she oversleeping?? Also- she has started to stay up later!!! The days of everyone asleep by 7 are over!! Some nights she is up until 8pm! (I know there are a few of you rolling your eyes right now, but this is an emergency to me) So what do we do??

Yesterday we tried "Quiet Time". How do you guys do this? Do you have them stay in their rooms? Do they actually stay in there? Do you give them things to do? How do we transition from Naps to Quiet Time? I NEED THE DOWN TIME, so how do I get her to cooperate.

Yesterday I tried telling her she could play quietly with her toys in her room while Blake napped and that I would come and get her when Quiet Time was over. About 15 mins later she came in to me studying and begged me to read books and cover her with her blanket!! Is it just not time to give up naps? But what do I do about this unacceptable bedtime of 8pm! and the afternoon Grumpies? Maybe this is just life with an almost 4 year old.

So tell me what you have done. Tell me what works for you and your little ones.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Macie, the Peacemaker

Last June, 2009, while I was reading the Ensign I felt strongly that Heavenly Father wanted me to have another child. I was pretty concerned seeing as how Riley and Blake were already close in age, and Blake had not even turned ONE yet! But I felt like it was right- and a within the week we were pregnant. (which was MUCH faster than I had expected)

Throughout the pregnancy I thought I was crazy! Who has a three year old, a one year old and a new born? How would I be able to juggle all three kids so close in age!? What was Heavenly Father thinking??

Well, Miss Macie Josiane was born on February 26 and since then my "road of Life" has hit a few pot holes. If I was reading this post, instead of writing it, I might think "oh, no, poor Katie. Life is getting difficult because of her new baby!" or "the last thing Katie needs while her life is falling apart is a lack of sleep from a newborn!" But this is a completely different story.

It seems like every day that I wake up- SOMETHING else has fallen apart. Some NEW POT HOLE has threatened to swallow me up! Right when I think I can't handle one more thing- Macie wakes up...

In her Baby Blessing, she was blessed to be a Peacemaker in our home. Normally, I would assume that Peacemaker means that she will be the mediator in sibling squabbling. (which we have plenty of those :) But that may not be the case for her.

Every time I hit a pot hole, or road bump, or detour on this really rough patch on my little "road of Life" Macie is there. As I wrap her sweetly in my arms, and smell her soft baby skin, and look into her sweet dark eyes I am FILLED with PEACE. She is MY PEACEMAKER. I find myself carrying her around with me when I might normally let her sleep because of the peace I get from her presence. I find an ability to cope with things I never thought I could handle because of the powerful peace that she extends to me unknowingly. What might have seemed a burden (having a newborn during such trying times) has actually been my balm.

She is my peace. In her I find strength to endure and quiet refuge from the storms. She can't speak, she can't reassure me, she can't hug me, or do anything for me. And yet she seems to do everything for me.

I am SO grateful that I listened to Heavenly Father last June. I am grateful He gave me her. I am grateful for her Spirit. I am grateful for how aware of ME Heavenly Father is to bring me peace in this way. I look forward to someday being HER PEACE. Of being a friend to her, and a comfort and voice of assurance and hope, and all of the things she is to me...

a peacemaker.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Katie VS The Spider

One thing you may or may not know about me is:
I am deathly afraid of SPIDERS.

I have tried overcoming it. (Even to the point of letting a giant one climb up my arm on my mission because the elders promised it would cure me. It didn't.) I accept that it is absolutely irrational to think that something as teeny tiny as a spider (especially these little house spiders that are not even poisonous) could be any threat to me. I recognize that it is juvenile and even a bit pathetic the way I SCREAM when I see one the size of my pinky fingernail. I get it. But I am STILL AFRAID OF THE LITTLE PUNKS!!

(P.S. another day I will tell the story of me crying in my bunk at the MTC the night before our flight left for Madagascar begging Heavenly Father to send me somewhere else because our teacher had just told us a story about the Spiders in Mada...)

Today, I was being ambitious and decided to attack my "Craft Closet" This is the closet under the stairs that holds all of my crafts and hair supplies. It is OUT OF CONTROL. I was not concerned about finding any 8 legged friends because it is well lit and I am always in and out of it... I was wrong.

Now the thing about Spiders is not their size, it is not their nasty hairiness, it isn't even the numerous legs (although that does give me the creeps) that scares me. It is their uncanny talent for the Element of Surprise!

There he was- a GIANT (ok, the size of a dime) black, hairy spider running through my closet! After the initial SCREAM, I pulled it together long enough to bash the little guy with the lid of a box that I was holding. But HERE is where I made my mistake:

Confidently I strutted to the bathroom, basking in my victory, to grab some toilet paper to send him to a watery grave. Normally, when I smash the little guys I make sure that they are missing a leg or two so that there is no possibility of an escape while I am getting the toilet paper. But this time-- I was sure he was dead.

You all know what happened next- I returned to the site of the beating only to discover that the carcass of my foe was no longer in my closet!!


Frantically I jumped out of the closet, slamming the door.

Where is he now? Still in the closet? Or has he made it out under the crack and headed to the kitchen? Or even worse... could he be seeking revenge and climbing the stairs??!!
It freaks me out to think that he is on the loose in my home with little children and my BABY! And even more scary-- with ME!!

If you drive past my house- and see every light left on tonight... it is because I will NEVER be able to sleep knowing that the little arachnid is still alive! (I am only staying here tonight because it is a little crazy to get a Hotel to avoid a spider, but don't think the thought hasn't crossed my mind)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

SHE said, I said

Riley is in the back seat of a LONG DRIVE home from B.C. She is being cute playing with her My Little Pony's, so I look over the seat to smile at her.

RILEY: Why are you LOOKING at me??
in the sassy voice

and before I could stop myself...
in my sassy voice

rolls his eyes with a little laugh at how his wife has not only stooped to a 3 year old level, but has also brought back a saying that none of us has used since family car rides with our brothers in the 80's!!


Saturday, April 17, 2010

HE said, SHE said


ME: Riley, don't splash Macie. (while she is helping me give Macie a bath)
RILEY: I am NOT!! (as she does it again)
ME: Riley it is important to LISTEN to Mommy...
RILEY: No, it is NOT. It is ONLY important TO YOU. It is NOT important TO ME.

I am sure all of you can actually HEAR the tone in Riley's voice as she says this. :)
I think I am going to be hearing some version of this for years to come!


Blake is finally starting to really "talk" :)
His favorite words are
and all vehicle sounds
Beep Beep, VRROOOOMMM, and my favorite CHOO CHOOOP!
(yes, for some reason he is adding a hard P sound to the end of Choo Choo)
or animal noises like

Monday, April 5, 2010

* Sigh *

This is one of those games where you match the columns.

Match the *SIGH* with the REASON:Numbered List

  1. Overwhelmed
  2. Disappointed
  3. Relieved
Now for the matches

A. General Conference
B. Macie's Blessing Gown
C. JT's Anatomy and Physiology class

Now for the Answers:

Man, I know I should feel inspired- but I just feel like we have such a HUGE job as mothers and that our kids really are headed into rough waters! I have never heard a General Conference so directed at my own situation in life. And one that feels so overwhelming. I am however, still grateful that we had General Conference. I feel so much peace just SEEING the Prophet and hearing his LOVE and ENCOURAGEMENT. I am also grateful for that voice of warning. They always seem to be a few years ahead on Revelation (ex. The Family Proclamation) and so I know that what they told us is going to really matter in just a few years. (which gives me time too repent and be a better Mom!!) :)
So, for the BIG sigh of being Overwhelmed- I know there is still peace...

Don't even ASK about the ordeal with the Blessing Gown for Riley. 6 weeks Hormonal Breakdown + Washington's lack of selection + Throwing out my back and not being able to move = One NOT SO CUTE Blessing Gown for Riley... that we will need to use again for Macie!! :( Hopefully between Jeni's creative juices, and my mom's sewing talents we can salvage the mess before Sunday. (WHY do I do this at the AWFUL 6 weeks point?? I should bless my babies at 10 weeks when I am back to NORMAL!! oh yeah, my sis is in town from England this week-- THAT is why we are blessing her now)
So, the BIG sigh of Disappointment for this beaded mess! (I am actually rolling my eyes and smiling as I write this one. So don't feel too sorry for me. After all- I never get those PERFECT pics of my kids on their blessing days anyways- so she could wear a potato sack for all I will remember!!... Which just made me think of Riley and I gardening the other day and finding a Potato Bug that Riley called a Motato Bug!)

Another one that I should not THINK too hard about. JT needs to retake an Anatomy and Physiology class THIS QUARTER. However, he was on the "wait list" at every school in the area to take it. (Does this sound familiar?) What we really wanted was an On Line class so that he would not have to be driving to Seattle or Bellevue everyday like he was before (after a 12 hour night shift). Yesterday was when classes started and it did not look promising. Of course, I was freaking out and JT's response was "Don't worry, I have REALLY GOOD LUCK getting in off the WAIT LIST" :) So, can we apply that GOOD LUCK to P.A. SCHOOL? ha!
He DID get in to the On Line Class (even though he was 3rd on the wait list, and the first 2 did not get in, go figure)
So, there it is: the BIG sigh of RELIEF that JT has somehow done it again and saved his butt at the last minute!

(Don't worry, I know it wasn't JT who saved his butt... I was on my knees a lot yesterday Thanking the real Hero of the day)

10 POINTS to anyone who got ALL of the ANSWERS RIGHT!! :)

Friday, April 2, 2010


Hey Everyone-
I'm ready to do some hair again!!


I am not sure yet what my other date will be in April (a weekday) but let me know if you need it
... I can see your roots...
Just Kidding!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Crazy Hormones

When I was leaving the Hospital the Nurse said that the Hormones you build up over the past 9 months come crashing back to "normal" within the first 2 weeks. SO most women are a little crazy those first few weeks.

Not ME. The first few weeks I am in Baby Bliss! I love it all!

But WEEKS 4-6 are a different story!!
That would explain the BREAK DOWN about my JEANS yesterday and being insane enough to think that I would want to give up TREATS!!
THAT is why I began running a few years ago in the first place! So that I could justify eating what I want.
I WILL CUT BACK and NOT EAT a donut and Cinnabon in the same hour... but no other promises.


P.S. I have learned a trick for HOW TO BAKE MY CAKE AND NOT EAT IT TOO...

Riley and I DID make our Easter Egg Nests like she wanted. The TRICK to NOT EATING the ENTIRE batch is to accidentally NOT PAY ATTENTION (very likely for me) and ACCIDENTALLY DOUBLE the BUTTER so that the nests are a disgusting oily mess!! :) IT WORKED! I didn't even finish ONE! :)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

i just can't do it

The Baby High is starting to wear off.

I always come home from the Hospital and spend a few weeks on cloud 9 looking at my baby and basking in the joy that comes from labor and now holding a teeny tiny new born. I don't worry about anything else but soaking up all of that baby.

Like my other two- recovery has been great! And it doesn't hurt that the SUN is out and I have been able to run a few times a week. Macie is sweet and sleepy still, so I don't even feel overwhelmed with the addition of a third!

So what has got me down??


With both Riley and Blake I was in my Pre-Pregnancy JEANS within a week or so of being home. In fact, with Blake we went on vacation to San Diego when he was 2 weeks old and I walked around the beach and pool in a BATHING SUIT!! (my pre-pregnancy TOPS never fit, because of the "extra D" that I add on with breast feeding- but that is OK) What is NOT ok is trying to cinch up Maternity jeans on my NON-Maternity butt!

I could ask: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??

But then I remember the day before I had Macie and I ate a Donut (of course), a Cinnabon (and a half when no one was looking) 2 giant Choc cookies, and a regular cookie ON TOP of my regular meals. And although that seems extravagant- that was my diet my whole last month of pregnancy!!

My Nightly Routine has been to put the kids down and then dish up a bowl of ice cream!

My Breakfast Routine was a Donut with my Chocolate Milk and cereal!

P.S. This BLOG is for ME-- so NO ONE is ALLOWED to JUDGE or make COMMENTS on my Horrible eating the last month of pregnancy!

Anyways, Jt and I decided to go off of "Desserts" (although the word Dessert implies AFTER dinner- and I am talking desserts ALL DAY LONG) We have decided to do one free day a week that we can indulge in ice cream and cookies and whatever strange garbage I am craving...

ALL I THINK about is how I CAN'T have ice cream. And even WORSE- how I CAN'T BAKE anything!! It is EASTER TIME! My oven should be filled with Lemon Bars, Angel Food Cake, and of course Easter Egg Sugar Cookies!! And what about those cute egg shaped Rice Krispee Treats? And Riley wants to make the little Noodle Nests with Robin's Eggs... and that gets me started on Easter Candy!! It is two weeks away and I haven't even had a Cadbury Egg yet!! (no, not the mini eggs- I have actually had lots of those) I can't take it anymore!

It is ONE thing to give up eating junk during the week... but BAKING it too??? But I REALLY don't have the self restraint to bake a batch of Sugar Cookies and not eat them!

SO, do I give up?
Do I resign myself to this yucky flabby body and say what I always hear "that 3rd one is the hardest to lose"
Do I try to figure out a way to run twice as often (which is not easy juggling around 3 kids and naps and nursing every few hours!)
Do I just buck up and shut up and try to find a new hobby besides baking?


Monday, March 15, 2010


It is NO SURPRISE that my kids are a little crazy. I recognize that I chose to turn their lives upside down by having another child. I realize it is not their fault that I am up in the middle of the night nursing, or that EVERY time they need something- I am nursing again! And yet, I keep taking it out on them, and they are definitely taking it out on ME! We have tried giving them JT's or my undivided attention, or having Riley's favorite nursery teacher take them for a day and spoil them rotten, we have even tried the TV! But the bottom line is: This is their NEW LIFE. And we have to find some kind of compromise to get us back into REALITY...

SO I have tried PARENTING BOOKS, asking my PEDIATRICIAN, and even just throwing it all out the window and yelling... so far I haven't found a CURE for the CRAZIES...


After the kids were down for their naps, JT was paying bills, and the house was peaceful...
I grabbed my Ipod, laced up the tennis shoes, squished "the girls" into a DD Sports Bra (and that was a squish!), and took off.

Yes, My lungs hurt, My knees hurt, My ankles hurt... But after about a mile- I didn't feel like yelling at anyone! I forgot how running feels like meditation! And I WAS FREE!! For the first time in 3 weeks- I was doing something FOR ME. I wasn't doing it for Macie, or Riley, or even JT. I was all alone, running by the little pond, listening to birds, and absolutely content.

Soon, I was delusional enough (and not just because of the pain) to think I was a GOOD MOM and RETURN BACK HOME!!

Despite all of the books, advice, and help we have received these past few weeks- the thing that has made me feel like I can cope with this huge change (and not give away any of my children) was a simple run :)

But tomorrow I am going to PAY for it... my legs are SO SORE!!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

FEBRUARY 25, 2010- Un Edited (meaning VERY LONG) Version


KT waking up, looking at the clock "yes! JT let me sleep in! Now, let's get JT and the kids off to ballet and I can take my time getting ready before my Doctor's appointment." smiling to myself.
9:25 am
"man am I ready to have a baby" pouting to myself, the little pout that only JT falls for "maybe I should get the Hospital Bag ready in case they HAVE to induce me today!" smiling a little "Ok, I don't REALLY want to be induced. I just want to have this baby today!" which is weird, since I am totally NOT ready at all!

10:00 am
"Oh no, I am late! took to long doing my hair! At least it looks good if I go into labor!" stomach growls loudly "oh dang it, no time for breakfast" I grab a chocolate donut, one of the ones that JT considers a miracle like the fishes and the loaves because SOMEHOW whenever we run out-- more magically appear on our counter... I have got to stop this habit! "I should REALLY eat a better breakfast! If they HAVE to induce me" smiling to myself because this is so dumb "they won't let me eat- and I will need the energy! Wait! If they induce me- can I still go NATURAL?" pouting again as I realize how dumb this all sounds- even in my own head. "Katie! Just ENJOY this last week of pregnancy! JT has the kids- go shopping, do all of the things you won't be able to do with THREE kids!!" This makes me smile again and I don't mind that all I have eaten is a lousy donut. At least I can go shopping by myself!

10:30 am
Ultrasound Tech "Everything looks good! She is measuring 7lbs 8oz"
KT "Oh GOOD!" smiling but really thinking "Darn it! I was hoping they would say- 'she hasn't grown, we will HAVE to induce you today!!' Katie! There you go again! You DON'T want to be induced! What are you THINKING??"

10:45 am
Dr. Channell
"Hey, Katie, I am on call tonight. You should have a baby!" she smiles.
KT "I know" there is that pouty face again! "I am feeling ready today"
Dr. Channell "Do you want me to check you today and see if you are dilated?"
"no, because if you say I am still only at a 3 I will go home crying.."
KT "OK, Sounds Great!"
Dr. Channell "Let's see if we can strip those membranes again so I can see you tonight!"
KT getting my hopes up "Yay, I actually vacuumed last night! It would be a great night to go into labor!"
"...on my own! Without being induced!"
Dr. Channell as she is checking me "NEVERMIND Katie" as she takes her hand back " You are having this baby TODAY. I am NOT going to strip your membranes" She helps me sit up "Katie, I can feel the umbilical chord. Go ahead and put your clothes on, I will be right back in. You are definitely going to have this baby today." she leaves the room.
I am getting dressed. To surprised to be excited.
"oh no, I didn't get the Bag ready!! I KNEW I should have done that! oh well, I can run home really quick and get everything done" Dr. Channell comes back in and gets on the phone to the hospital. She is telling them that she has a patient with an Umbilical Chord Prolapse and needs to send a me down. I can't hear the other end of the conversation, but I can tell they are very busy by the look on her face.
Dr. Channell "well, she needs to come down RIGHT NOW. I am sending her down." I love it when I hear her definitive voice. It makes me feel so confident and safe.
"I need to call JT! so, if I am induced can I still go NATURAL? Wait, I think she is trying to explain things to me! Katie! Pay Attention!"
Dr. Channell "so the umbilical is OVER her head, blocking the birth canal..."
"so, can I still grab something to eat?? All I had was that little donut! I am starving! oh wait! She said 'follow me' Katie, Pay Attention! What did she just tell that nurse? I need a WHEELCHAIR? I need to go to the HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW? But JT isn't here! And I didn't pack my bags! And all I ate was a donut! Wait, she is talking to me again. She said C-section! I know she is explaining it, but I can't hear this. I CAN NOT have a c-section! The LAST thing I want is surgery. This is NOT the way I planned it." I start to cry in the chair, on the way to the Hospital. "I have to call JT! His stupid phone doesn't work! Why didn't we get that fixed?"
KT "Hey Babe" talking to his Voice Mail "We are having a baby today. Call me."
I am in the Birth Center Triage. Kristen, the nurse is doing her best to comfort me. "February 25 is a great day to have a baby." "People have c-sections all the time." "All that matters is a safe, healthy baby." But I can't stop crying. JT and my dad arrive. He couldn't get a hold of me, so he called the Hospital, and they told him to come right away. I still can't stop crying. Dr. Channel comes down to see me in Triage.
Dr. Channell "You don't have to decide right now, you can talk it over with JT. But your options are to have a c-section, or to TRY to do it vaginally- but if your water breaks and the baby's head drops down on the chord, we will have to do an Emergency c-section and you would have to be put all the way under."
"Those aren't options. My choice is c-section or c-section? This is NOT how I wanted to do this! How is this happening?"
JT and my Dad give me a Priesthood Blessing. For the first time I finally feel peace. I am blessed that Soeur ("sister") Josiane from my mission will be there with me (she passed away after I got home from my mission in 2002). I am taken to a room and set up with a monitor to wait until Dr. Channell's office hours are over and she can do the c-section then. (TENDER MERCY #1)

12:00 pm
"Dumb donut! They have to wait 8 hours to do the c-section because I ate a lousy chocolate donut at 10 am?? It didn't even fill me up. What I wouldn't give for those Heavenly ice chips. That is the way this was SUPPOSE to happen. I should be laboring in the tub (even though that grosses Tami out- but I know it is the best for contractions) listening to 'Vindicated' from the Spider Man soundtrack and Pink's 'So What', eating my delicious ice chips and doing the Hee Hee Hoo's that I practiced! But no, I am laying here unable to move in case my water breaks just waiting for them to cut me open and hand me a baby."
I start to cry again.

3:30 pm
JT has gone home to get the Hospital Bag... that of course I didn't pack. I am alone in the room, starting to have contractions closer together. "At least I am having contractions. I know I sound crazy- but labor and delivery is my FAVORITE part. When I am sick the first few months I think about how at least I will get to be in labor at the end! When I am losing my mind during the second trimester I picture the amazing feeling of my body getting ready to have a baby! The last few months, as I am getting huge and not sleeping I remind myself that I get to be a part of delivering a baby that grew in my body! The whole thing is so amazing to me. I can't even explain WHY I love it so much. Trust me, I am not a masochist. But it seems to be the thing that I look forward to the entire pregnancy. And now I am missing my favorite part. I have felt so distracted and disconnected this whole pregnancy-- I thought this would be our chance. How will I ever feel connected to a baby that they hand me on a table? When I never experience the pushing, or the 'labor' itself? It is like going to a movie and then walking out right before the climax of the story, to have a person in the lobby tell me the ending. At least I am having contractions. I guess that will have to be enough."

I talk to Shannon, who happens to be in the Hospital that day. She makes me feel better about a c-section. She LOVED hers. She says I will still feel connected to the baby. She says as soon as I hear that little cry- it will all be fine. She is so positive and up beat that I feel myself relaxing again.
"Shannon says it will be fine. Not that I am GLAD that she is in the Hospital to talk to... but I KNOW it is a blessing that she is here to tell me it will be ok" (TENDER MERCY #2)

6:00 pm ish... as if I really know what time it is anymore
Dr. Channell "Well, let's check you again and see if the chord just happened to move on it's own"
"what? Is that even a possibility??"
Dr. Channel checks me. Not only am I now dilated to a 5-- but the chord has moved! She can't feel it at all!! She is explaining to me that there may still be some risk so it would be better to play this very safe. She suggests taking me to the O.R. and prepping me for surgery. There, they can give me an epidural and break my water. If the baby does ok, and there is still no chord in the way, they will let me come back to the room and have the baby vaginally! IF there is any distress on the baby, or the chord slips back down they can immediately turn up the epidural and perform the c-section as planned. I am in shock. I can not believe that it moved! I start to cry again. (TENDER MERCY #3)

Thank goodness for my waterproof mascara! (Can that be classified as a Tender Mercy??)

7:30 pm ish
They are wheeling me down the hall to the O.R. I am so excited I can't stop smiling!
"wouldn't it be funny to start screaming out crazy things to scare the people in the waiting room or the visitors in the hall?? or maybe just wave to everyone like I think I am Miss America in a parade and not actually in an open back hospital gown!" I realize that I am GIDDY with happiness at the idea that I MIGHT be able to still deliver vaginally. "ok, so I won't be in the tub, or pumped up to any rock music to get me going... but I also won't be in the Hospital an extra day, I won't have a cut in my tummy that will take twice as much work at the gym to get back to normal, I won't have a 6 week recovery period and best of all-- I won't miss out on the pushing! stop smiling, Katie, you are not in the clear YET."
The O.R. is like a different world! It is bright with lots of shiny tools.
"This looks NOTHING like Gray's Anatomy! Where is Mc Dreamy? Why are the lights on in here, isn't it suppose to be dark and suspenseful in an O.R.? Which of these people is having a secret affair in the on-call room?? Ok, focus Katie, you are about to have a baby!!"
The anesthesiologist gives me the epidural. He makes me lay on my side because they don't want me to sit up in case that causes my water to break. It is much worse on my side than sitting up. I am also having contractions in my lower back. I want to cry- but I can't move.
JT reminds me of the beautiful blessing. And that Sr. Josiane is by my side. I don't know what it is about her that brings me so much comfort. That could be a whole other blog. But fear leaves again- and I feel total peace. (TENDER MERCY #4)

Everything goes smoothly. It is fun (yes, I said FUN) to be in the O.R. We are all wearing dorky hats as if we are at some weird costume party. JT has on the white jumpsuit as if I am contaminated with something dangerous. All the crying, all the fears were for nothing!

They take me back to my room, we turn on the itunes, and bask in the joy of labor! The epidural is much lighter than either of the other two I have had. I have a lot of control over my body. They leave me off of the pitosin, because Dr. Channell is in surgery. "Hopefully that woman is like Shannon and LOVES to have c-sections" We fade in and out of sleep (which is the beauty of an epidural) until I wake up with a feeling that I am going to wet my pants... except I have a catheter in-- so that isn't possible. "take this catheter out so I can go pee!! I am soo uncomfortable!" But I can also feel contractions again! I am so excited! "This means the epidural is wearing off!!"

12:00 am ish
Dr. Channell "Let's just check you to see how far you are dilated and to see if you need to get on the pitosin." I am just at a 7, they start up the pitosin.
Before the nurse leaves my side he reminds me that if I feel a need to push or to have a bowel movement I need to let him know right away. I am still feeling like I need to wet my pants.
And then it happens.
"I need to push! NOW! Oh my gosh, I have never felt this with the other two! The epidurals were always strong enough that I didn't know the baby was coming until Dr. Channell said to push!! But I have to GO!"
KT "Uh, Dennis" our male nurse who we LOVED "I have to push"
He seems to not really believe me. Maybe because they just checked me and I was at a 7.
KT "Uh, like RIGHT NOW. I am feeling it! I need to push NOW. JT, I need you NOW"
Dennis calls the desk and tells them to get Dr. Channell immediately.
KT "Right Now. Dennis, is this baby going to shoot out onto the table???"
Dennis "Let's hope not" He is smiling. He has been the best nurse ever. I don't think he has any other patients tonight, even though I know the Birth Center is full. I have his undivided attention.

12:45 am ish
Dr. Channell comes back in the room- and gives me the go ahead.
"This is the most amazing feeling! I can actually feel the baby pushing down on me and wanting to come out! How is this possible? I can feel so much!" (TENDER MERCY #6)
Dr. Channell "Katie, you get ONE MORE PUSH and then I am getting the vacuum"
"What?? Why is she threatening me with the vacuum?? I have only pushed twice! Don't I get to at least try for 10 minutes?? Here comes another contraction! I can actually FEEL that! With the other babies- they had to watch the monitor and TELL me when I was having a contraction and WHEN to PUSH! But I can tell them! I am doing it!!!"
Dr. Channell "One more push, come on, or I will have to get the vacuum"
"ok, ok, Here goes. I can do this!! Is that what I think it was? I felt the head!"
KT "I felt the head!! I FELT it!"
"I can feel this! The head, the arms the legs! She is here!!" (TENDER MERCY #7)

I don't even realize that they have called in another nurse, or that they don't hand ME the baby when she comes out. I am way too excited that in spite of the epidural that was the closest to natural I have ever felt! And besides, when Riley was born she pooped so much maconium that they couldn't give her to me right away- so I guess I am use to having to wait a minute for the baby. I don't realize that they aren't weighing her or bathing her, they have oxygen over her mouth and are carefully working on her. Later, I am told that her heart rate had been dropping and that is why they threatened me with the vacuum. Not because 10 minutes was too long, but because she was in distress.

They finally hand her to me, and I cry. I feel Sr. Josiane there, and that makes me cry more.

I hardly sleep that night because I can't get over the Tender Mercies and Miracles that surrounded that day.

The next day Darcy points out that the Donut was in fact another miracle donut. That maybe had I not eaten the donut, causing them to have to wait 8 hours for the c-section, that Dr. Channell might have performed it earlier in the day. But that those 8 hours gave the chord time to move. AND in those 8 hours- I was able to be reminded again how much my Heavenly Father loves me, and the tender mercies He blesses me with.

I realize that it may not be important to anyone else HOW this baby came into the world - but it was important to me. It is a sweet reminder that WHAT is IMPORTANT to ME is IMPORTANT to my Heavenly Father as well. That doesn't mean He is going to GIVE me what I want- or HOW I want it. But He is aware. I realize through JT's blessing that Heavenly Father knows how it all will end, and may still let us endure
the trial. I realize that I can't dictate how I want things to happen in my life. And that I can't assume that I always know what is best for me. But Heavenly Father really does have my best interest in mind. Only He knows what will be best for my growth.

Suddenly I realize how my labor experiences translates into SO many other areas of my life. (TENDER MERCY #8)