Friday, February 17, 2012

And the Oscar goes to....

And the Ocsar goes to....

It is no secret that I have dreamed of the day that I would sit in the soft chairs of the Kodak Theater anxiously awaiting the taring of an envelope and the announcement that I, Katie Nelson (of course I am still using my maiden name so that the fans that have adored me for years before I was married will still know me, but maybe I should hyphenate it? Katie Nelson-Tyler, yep, that is better) I, Katie Nelson- Tyler,  have won the Academy Award.  I picture myself half way back in the theater, since of course, I am an underdog that is not expected to steal the award from my other amazing fellow nominees: Julia Roberts, Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, and Kristen Stewart (ok, my side hurts from laughing at that one).  But really, no one is surprised when they call my name.  They all nod their heads, clapping with approval as they look around the room for a first glance at me in my gown.  I, however, am completely stunned.  JT (in his sexy tux) has to nudge me to stand up.  I kiss him and some of my costars and then head up to the stage praying that I don't trip in my heels on my way up the stairs with Brad Pitt and Channing Tatum on the front row.

And now the moment that has entered my dreams and fantasies since I was a child.  The speech.

I am tearing up now (and grateful that Lancome has offered me a job as their spokes model and therefore have a lifetime supply of waterproof mascara) when they hand me the Award.  I can feel the cold, smooth Oscar in my hands and can't believe it is actually happening to me. I start wanting to thank everyone who has ever loved me. I feel the warmth of the spotlight on my face and forget that there are tall supermodels waiting to escort me off the stage before the next commercial.  It is my moment.  And now for the speech...

ok, this is where it ends.  I have no speech.  Not even a note card.  No this isn't the dream sequence where you get to class and realize you haven't studied all semester.  Or where you show up to work naked.  It isn't embarrassing, it just ends here.  I have never dreamed of the actual speech.

Would it be weird to say that I have been pondering about this for a week or two now? (I guess nothing I say comes as much of a shock to anyone) I have thought about this, and analyzed it much more than a girl who isn't actually nominated for an Academy Award (or even in show business for that matter) should think about it.

Why don't I have the speech?  The truth is- I don't exactly know what I am nominated for. (because we both know- I haven't starred in any Hollywood movies lately)

I recently went on a date with a girl friend to the Symphony. (fancy, right?) And I was struck by my own Ordinariness. (whoa, that is actually a word? according to spell check: yes)  I took in all of the fantastic talent and felt extremely common.  I tried to think of what fabulous talent I have to offer the world- and I came up blank.  Blank.  That is when the word Ordinary began to haunt me.  Followed by it's synonyms: average, unremarkable, unexceptional.  The list is not too impressive.  So why does an unexceptional girl like me dream of receiving an Oscar?

Naturally, a girl in the fashion industry (as a Hairstylist) would be drawn to the Red Carpet.  I could watch those gowns, shoes, and hairstyles all night long!  Spending hours getting all glammed up would be a dream come true!

Maybe it is because I did always want to be an actress as a child.  I love the theater. I love the movies. I love the emotions that a brilliant performance can inspire.  I love the idea of transforming into other characters and other times.  (and doing a few stunts sounds kinda cool, too!)

Maybe it is the attention.  You know, the "all eyes on me" as I walk down the Red Carpet snapping pictures for Us Weekly and talking about who I am wearing. The moment when the audience erupts in applause and the cameras turn to me while my costars rise to start the standing ovation. We all know that I kinda enjoy the spotlight.

Or maybe it is the Fame.  I want people to recognize my name.  (so maybe I shouldn't hyphenate it... too long? yeah ok, just Katie Tyler)  Would it be so bad to have everyone know who you are?  Not have to wait in line at Olive Garden? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be recognized for being the best in your craft? The Best.

When it all comes down to it- I guess I just want to be known for doing something amazing. For being "the best" at something! The problem is- Ordinary is not synonymous with Amazing.  So how do I get from one to the other?  I am not a Concertmaster (a word I learned from a talented friend- it is the fancy way of saying the lead violinist who runs the show in an Orchestra- or something like that), or an American Idol, or an Olympian, or even a super talented anything. 

I guess the reason I don't have a speech prepared is that I am not even sure what I want to win.  What do I want to be famous for?  What am I even capable of being famous for?

On my mission- the single most powerful experience I had was one rainy night having the realization that I could be amazing.  That I could do amazing things.  The possibility that I could dream big. Sad to say, at 23 years old, the thought of Dreaming Big had never even occurred to me.

 With the 84th Annual Academy Awards fast approaching, and personally having received no nominations, I think it is safe to assume I will not be needing that speech anytime soon.  (Or the $2000 Jimmy Choo shoes I just bought for the occasion) And since I won't be spending the next few weeks in photo shoots, signing autographs, or trying on jewelry- I guess I can spend some time figuring out how to be amazing...

Don't worry.  Someday there will be an award show, I will have my beautiful gown, my moment in the spotlight, my chance to "thank the academy and my wonderful husband" and my moment to figure out just what it is that keeps me from being ordinary.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love Languages

Love Languages

 A few weeks ago we had an interesting Relief Society meeting about Love Languages.  We had a crash course on the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I am sure that everyone who attended got something different out of the meeting.  But I came away wanting to know what JT's Love Language is so that I can make sure I am speaking Love the way he likes to hear it.  I also came away wanting Gifts. 

Because apparently I am a Gift Receiver :)

Crash Course: (I got these definitions here which are worded a little different from our class- but close enough for blogging sake)
Words of Affirmation -- Positive verbal reinforcement. You feel loved when your partner expresses appreciation for the small things you do.
Acts of Service -- You feel loved when someone goes out of their way to make things more pleasant or smooth for you. Examples include: doing chores, cooking dinner, taking care of something that would normally be your responsibility.
Receiving Gifts -- If receiving gifts makes you feel loved, that does not mean you are superficial.  Someone who speaks this love language appreciates thoughtful, personal gifts, not necessarily dependent on price.
Quality Time --  Periods where you have complete attention. If quality time is your primary love language, you feel neglected without time spent specifically focused on each other.
Physical Touch --  Bodily contact between people. Not restricted to sexual intercourse or intimacy, this love language encompasses all kinds of touch, from hugs to kisses to cuddling.

When I tried to guess what JT's language was- I was wrong.  Don't do that.  I assumed he was an Acts of Service kind of guy with some Physical Touch in there.  Nope.  Turns out- he is a Physical Touch Guy (which explains the constant need to cuddle me - even when I am standing over hot oil at the stove freaking out that I am going to burn myself because he can't stop hugging and me! -- an "Ah Ha" moment in our house)  And he is also a Words of Affirmation Guy. (hence the blog post I am writing right now to eventually say how amazing he is!) 

Do you know why I guessed he was an Acts of Service Guy? (even though that did not even register on his quiz as something he appreciates) Because that seems to be a way that he expresses his love to me.  He is always doing something nice for me. (dishes, taking out garbage, changing diapers, giving me time away) But it isn't that he feels love that way- it is just that somewhere along the way- he has discovered that I feel loved through those small acts.  Yep, I am an Acts of Service Girl.  I love it when someone does something that is on my list of Things to Do.  I love it when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for me, or anyone.  (Like at our Church's Christmas Program-  I was sitting on the stand with the Choir so I was able to watch everything happening in the congregation.  I saw when my friend's baby started to fall apart crying.  She was sitting with her 3 small children towards the back of the chapel listening to her husband who was on the stand singing with the choir.  I knew she wanted to hear hear husband, but that her baby wanted to go out.  And she also had the two other children to take care of.  That's when I saw a friend of ours come up from behind and pick up her fussy baby girl and take her out in the hall so this friend could stay and listen. I totally cried watching it happen!  That is the kind of Acts of Service that I love!) whoa, that wasn't about my man, let's get back to Valentine's Day!

Anyways- I also happen to be the kinda girl who likes to Receive Gifts.  Although that surprised me initially, it shouldn't have.  Ever since I was a teenager the way to express love between my sisters and me was to bring a large fountain drink to each others houses.  Usually accompanied by their favorite little treat.  This meant the world to us.  (yes, we have a deep love for fountain drinks-- not bottles)  It was never expensive. Ok, sometimes my sister gave me the occasional super cute hot pink jacket that she picked up in Paris and I love and wear it all the time, or the mini bread pan that I always wanted, there were gifts like that too.  But usually, it was something that was small and said "I know you, and I love you"

So- here it is - Valentine's Day.  I was not expecting anything from JT because our budget has been really tight and knowing that fact- I have not expressed any gifts that I would like.  Then yesterday, Riley and JT came home from an afternoon together.  (where JT took Riley to work with him so that I could take a nap with the other kids-- yep, there is that Acts of Service I am talking about) I noticed Riley's hair looked really pretty.  It looked like it had been straightened with a straightening iron.  I asked if Daddy had straightened it (because he has been known to do it when I am not home) and she smiled and said no.  Suddenly- I realized where they had been.  I tried not to think about it.  (because I love surprises, and often guess them on accident) Then today, when I opened my V-day Gift- there it was- a new Curling Iron! 

Reasons why this is The Perfect Gift:
1) I do hair for Prom and some Weddings- and I have been borrowing a friend's iron because my 13 year old one is dying a slow and tragic death. (now I won't need to borrow)
2) I love hair and playing with hair :)
3) I did not expect it- he was surprising me!
4) It is practical (isn't that weird? I like gifts to be thoughtful yet practical.  Nothing stresses me out more than not having money and getting an impractical gift!)
5) It was from a guy who Feels Love through Words- and yet, knows to express love to me in thoughtful gifts and acts of kindness.

So tonight, when I am cooking dinner over a hot stove with a giant knife in one hand and a boiling pot in the other- I will stand still to kiss him - because that is what he needs.  And when he is bored at work and goes to check my blog- he will see that I wrote all of this to say- I love you, Jonathan Tyler.  You are my Best Friend.  Very Best Friend. You understand me better than I know myself!  You are the guy I married, and even better.  You make every day worth waking up for.  Sometimes I know I don't deserve you, but I will always try.  It makes sense that you would marry a girl who loves to blog, and write love notes on your mirror, and tell you everyday how much she loves you- you love words :) You are It, Valentine, and I will love you forever.

And tomorrow I will look extra hot with my new curls! 

p.s. Here is a one more pic of us from our fabulous vacation in December :) Yeah, ok, we don't have many of the two of us together to choose from!