1) I HATE being cold (and I get cold easily, even here in Vegas)
2) I am TERRIFIED of heights
3) I am afraid of going fast and being out of control
4) I am a scaredy cat when it comes to the possibility of getting hurt
5) I love JT so much
I gave myself lots of positive pep talks the week before. "I can do hard things", "I will give this my best shot", "I will be patient with myself", "I will not expect to be awesome my first time, even though JT was awesome his first time last year", "I do not need to have perfectly matching ski gear" (seriously, cute ski gear seems like a necessity)
When we arrived at the slopes, we found our instructor (private lessons were a must) and got going. He was nice and very positive and I was feeling pretty good... until it was time to get on the chair lift.
When you are with the instructors they have you ride one at a time your first times, to get used to exiting the lift. That means I had to ride the chair lift by myself. (again, please see #2) As the chair lift scooped me up and lifted me high above the snow and trees I started to freak out. I repeated my affirmations "I can do hard things", "people rarely die on chair lifts", "if you fall you will land on snow". But I was still terrified. I tried to stay strong, like all of the 4 year olds fearlessly riding the lift, but the minute my skis touched the snow I slid off the chair and collapsed onto the soft earth below. And without even realizing it, I began to cry. I was overwhelmed and scared. After all, I just rode a death trap and was about to ski down a giant (bunny) hill! But JT reached out and helped me up (he didn't know I was crying- I guess that's why you wear goggles; to help hide your tears). With his giant smile, the one that fills up his whole face and makes the clouds disappear, he reassured me that I could do it.
And with that, all that was left was #5.
We had a wonderful day. I did hard things, I overcame fears, I was patient with my weaknesses in athleticism, I conquered a mountain (bunny slope), and I had the guy I love next to me the whole time.
To say that JT is athletic is an understatement. Things like skiing and riding chair lifts come easily to him. But even though it is easy for him, he never expects it to be easy for me. He is patient and supportive and kind. He doesn't make me feel for bad for crying on the ski lift, or for the expletives I shout when I fall, or for spending entire days inching down the bunny hills. He is compassionate, but still somehow pushes me to try harder and do scary things (like ride death traps soaring over trees and mountains). I ended up biting it pretty hard that day. But JT was waiting for me at the bottom, with open arms and encouragement. (Of course, I fell at the bottom of the hill too, so first, he picked me up, then held out those open arms.) We had a wonderful day. I did hard things, I overcame fears, I was patient with my weaknesses in athleticism, and I conquered a mountain (bunny slope). But best of all, I had the guy I love next to me the whole time. And he will always be there to lift me up, help me laugh, and keep me nice and warm. (See #1)
|JT and Katie at Brian Head|