Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Katie VS The Spider

One thing you may or may not know about me is:
I am deathly afraid of SPIDERS.


I have tried overcoming it. (Even to the point of letting a giant one climb up my arm on my mission because the elders promised it would cure me. It didn't.) I accept that it is absolutely irrational to think that something as teeny tiny as a spider (especially these little house spiders that are not even poisonous) could be any threat to me. I recognize that it is juvenile and even a bit pathetic the way I SCREAM when I see one the size of my pinky fingernail. I get it. But I am STILL AFRAID OF THE LITTLE PUNKS!!

(P.S. another day I will tell the story of me crying in my bunk at the MTC the night before our flight left for Madagascar begging Heavenly Father to send me somewhere else because our teacher had just told us a story about the Spiders in Mada...)

SO
Today, I was being ambitious and decided to attack my "Craft Closet" This is the closet under the stairs that holds all of my crafts and hair supplies. It is OUT OF CONTROL. I was not concerned about finding any 8 legged friends because it is well lit and I am always in and out of it... I was wrong.

Now the thing about Spiders is not their size, it is not their nasty hairiness, it isn't even the numerous legs (although that does give me the creeps) that scares me. It is their uncanny talent for the Element of Surprise!

There he was- a GIANT (ok, the size of a dime) black, hairy spider running through my closet! After the initial SCREAM, I pulled it together long enough to bash the little guy with the lid of a box that I was holding. But HERE is where I made my mistake:

Confidently I strutted to the bathroom, basking in my victory, to grab some toilet paper to send him to a watery grave. Normally, when I smash the little guys I make sure that they are missing a leg or two so that there is no possibility of an escape while I am getting the toilet paper. But this time-- I was sure he was dead.

You all know what happened next- I returned to the site of the beating only to discover that the carcass of my foe was no longer in my closet!!

THE SPIDER HAD PLAYED DEAD!! HE TRICKED ME!!


Frantically I jumped out of the closet, slamming the door.
THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN SEEING A SPIDER IS NOT SEEING THE SPIDER!!!

Where is he now? Still in the closet? Or has he made it out under the crack and headed to the kitchen? Or even worse... could he be seeking revenge and climbing the stairs??!!
It freaks me out to think that he is on the loose in my home with little children and my BABY! And even more scary-- with ME!!

If you drive past my house- and see every light left on tonight... it is because I will NEVER be able to sleep knowing that the little arachnid is still alive! (I am only staying here tonight because it is a little crazy to get a Hotel to avoid a spider, but don't think the thought hasn't crossed my mind)

5 comments:

  1. You make me laugh. On my mission, there were HUGE Huntsman spiders (some the size of my hand, I am not even kidding). We would wake up in our flat and find one next to us on the wall, in the shower, in the kitchen...gross! We would take the extension on the vacuum cleaner and squish the spider with it and then turn on the vacuum and suck it up. It makes me shudder to think about it.

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  2. yeah, I would have been crying and asking the President to send me home!

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  3. I HATE spiders too....I'm freaking out a little bit just reading about your awful experience! Its true...the only thing worse than seeing the spider, is not seeing the spider!! Yikes! I'll pray for you tonight! haha ;0)

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  4. I hope by now you have found and KILLED that spider! Yesterday at the gym I was just about to lie down on a mat to do some ab work and a huge spider charged me! I screamed, ran, and pushed another woman (that I did not even know) away to safety. Unfortunately, it's unlucky to kill a spider in the UK, so another woman rescued it before I could smash it with a ten pound weight. She released it outside and but I know it's just waiting for me to come back to seek revenge!

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