Last June, 2009, while I was reading the Ensign I felt strongly that Heavenly Father wanted me to have another child. I was pretty concerned seeing as how Riley and Blake were already close in age, and Blake had not even turned ONE yet! But I felt like it was right- and a within the week we were pregnant. (which was MUCH faster than I had expected)
Throughout the pregnancy I thought I was crazy! Who has a three year old, a one year old and a new born? How would I be able to juggle all three kids so close in age!? What was Heavenly Father thinking??
Well, Miss Macie Josiane was born on February 26 and since then my "road of Life" has hit a few pot holes. If I was reading this post, instead of writing it, I might think "oh, no, poor Katie. Life is getting difficult because of her new baby!" or "the last thing Katie needs while her life is falling apart is a lack of sleep from a newborn!" But this is a completely different story.
It seems like every day that I wake up- SOMETHING else has fallen apart. Some NEW POT HOLE has threatened to swallow me up! Right when I think I can't handle one more thing- Macie wakes up...
In her Baby Blessing, she was blessed to be a Peacemaker in our home. Normally, I would assume that Peacemaker means that she will be the mediator in sibling squabbling. (which we have plenty of those :) But that may not be the case for her.
Every time I hit a pot hole, or road bump, or detour on this really rough patch on my little "road of Life" Macie is there. As I wrap her sweetly in my arms, and smell her soft baby skin, and look into her sweet dark eyes I am FILLED with PEACE. She is MY PEACEMAKER. I find myself carrying her around with me when I might normally let her sleep because of the peace I get from her presence. I find an ability to cope with things I never thought I could handle because of the powerful peace that she extends to me unknowingly. What might have seemed a burden (having a newborn during such trying times) has actually been my balm.
She is my peace. In her I find strength to endure and quiet refuge from the storms. She can't speak, she can't reassure me, she can't hug me, or do anything for me. And yet she seems to do everything for me.
I am SO grateful that I listened to Heavenly Father last June. I am grateful He gave me her. I am grateful for her Spirit. I am grateful for how aware of ME Heavenly Father is to bring me peace in this way. I look forward to someday being HER PEACE. Of being a friend to her, and a comfort and voice of assurance and hope, and all of the things she is to me...