I recently read an article that was posted on my Sister in Law's Blog from the Wall Street Journal about PARENTING. I really disagreed with one of the perspectives and have no where else to voice this disappointment than my Blog. So here it goes out in to the Blog-O-Sphere.
here is the article- which I DID find VERY interesting and agreed with MANY of the points on Parenting.
ONE point, however, that I disgree with is the perspective given by the writer's husband saying that "(children) don't choose to be born... It's parents that foist life on their kids. Kids don't owe their parents anything. Their duty will be to their own kids."
This concept will not leave my mind. And it is breaking my heart.
Do people REALLY believe that we "FOIST LIFE" on our children? What a SAD world to live in if we believe that WE are so POWERFUL to FOIST LIFE and to CREATE without REGARD! Of course Children CHOOSE to be born. What kind of God would send His own Spirit children to earth if they DID NOT WANT TO GO there? Thank Goodness for the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation! To know that we ALL had the CHOICE to come to earth. To be born. To LIVE! And if we are HERE we know that we made that choice, stood by it, and fought for it. No one FORCED me to be born.
I know that we did not all necessarily CHOOSE our families and parents. We did not CHOOSE our circumstances. And there are MANY instances where children have not been born into good homes under good circumstances. (another reason to be Grateful for the Plan of Salvation!) Aren't we lucky to have The Proclamation to the World about FAMILIES? Defining that it is the RIGHT of a CHILD to be born into a loving family with a father and mother. I am so sorry for the children who have been denied that opportunity. My heart really does go out to them and to those that do not want to be in that situation. But even with the wrong circumstances, with rough up bringings,and negligent parenting; there is the Atonement. The chance to overcome it all. To forgive our parents if necessary. And to be grateful for them.
If NOTHING else (and there is SO much MORE) be grateful to our Wonderful Mothers who SACRIFICED so much to bring children into this world! Who gave up sushi and skinny jeans. Whose hair falls out after the baby is 3 months and then SLOWLY grows back in! Whose figures may be gone forever! Whose boobs sag to their waists! (oops, TMI) Whose careers, ambitions and hobbies may be on the back burners for a few years. Those Mothers who tossed and turned for 9 months with Restless Leg Syndrome, Heartburn, Fatigue, and Forgetfullness. Those mothers who have said Good Bye to cute clothes so that their kids can wear them. Those mothers who stay home from Girl's Nights when their little ones have a fever. Those Mothers who save and save and save to take their family to Disney Land only to have their 5 years old cry the whole time because she HAD to wear SHORTS when she WANTED to WEAR A SKIRT! (that was for my own Mother...sorry...) Those Mothers who held their newborn for the First time and cried because they could not understand HOW they could love ANYTHING as much as their little one. How can we owe those mother's nothing?
(RANDOM THOUGHT: I just watched Gone With the Wind and I keep hearing Rhett Buttler say to Scarlett "A CAT is a Better Mother than you!" OUCH! but still kinda funny)
I didn't forget them either.
Go to work EVERYDAY to hand over the paycheck to the family. Do you know how many Season Tickets, Buffalo Wings, and Shiny Chromy stuff they could buy if they weren't supporting a family. Dads who hold the hand and marvel as their Baby comes into the world. Dads who hang up pictures of chubby faces and squishy toes all over their offices at work. Who brag about Athletic Skills and futures in the NFL when their sons throw their first ball. Who sing in the middle of the night to their little girls. Who carry a baby carrier in one hand, with a toddler on one hip, and a little girl riding piggy back to the Library, the Zoo, and Church. Who get Thrown Up on in the middle of the night. (there is my Shout Out to Shawn and JT who have both recently survived this) Who give up new Mountain Bikes if it means a new Stroller for his little Princess. (I meant me. I am the one who wanted the Hummer of All Strollers... not cadillac. I have a BOB *smile and sigh*)
SO I guess what I am trying to say is:
HOW CAN WE OWE THESE PARENTS NOTHING?
Most parents are not doing something SELFISH by FOISTING LIFE on their CHILD. (If I wanted to do something SELFISH it would NOT be HAVING KIDS.) I am THANKFUL for the gift it is to HAVE these sweet children. And we need to be Thankful for the Gift of Life that was given to us by Parents and a Loving Heavenly Father.
I DO hope that as the husband in the article said - they will DO THEIR DUTY to THEIR KIDS. That of course will be one of my greatest joys in life.
It reminds me of the Lesson on Sunday when one of the girls asked WHAT it means when the scriptures say "To turn the hearts of the Fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers."
And that is how I feel about that.