One of our Favorite Games to play right now is called:
"Someday, when you Graduate from P.A. School...."
and then we fill in the blank with whatever wonderful thing we want to do when he graduates.
Let's play, it's fun.
We can go on a Cruise to the Bahamas.
I can buy Lancome mascara again.
We will take the kids to Disneyland!
We can move somewhere sunny. (as long as all of our friends vow to move with us)
I will buy Lilash.
I can redecorate the entire house exactly how I want it!
I will get a tummy tuck :)
We will have more time together.
See, this game could go on forever. But when I reread the list I have to remind myself that he will not be Winning the Lotto-- he will simply have a steady income! :) I recently read my sister in law's blog talking about waiting for her husband's residency to be over. Although she didn't post her wish list of all the fun things she wants to do when they are "rich" (rich being in parenthesis because I realize we will not be millionaires-- at least not yet) she did mention how easy it is to be waiting for the next phase in life and not completely loving the phase you are in. She even referenced a really great article about this- As for years.
So here we are- two years from completing P.A. school (ok, 4 months from even beginning P.A. school!) and I have already figured out how to spend his first 10 pay checks! (without paying back any of the student loans:) But I don't want to get caught looking at "the end" and missing the middle.
How can I have my cake and eat it too? Take out more student loans to go on that cruise now? (ok, bad idea, but tempting...) I need to enjoy what I have and where I am. After a particularly difficult budgeting night for us last week I was really bummed out. My list for "things to buy when he graduates" was astronomical. I was so frustrated. (the funny thing is- my list is full of really dumb things that I am the only one who cares about! not important things like New Washing Machine- but petty things like designer boots) And then JT did some random, sweet thing. (for the life of me, I can not even remember what it was!) The list vanished. The "somedays" were gone. And suddenly I was sucked right back in to the Now. I saw how wonderful life is Right Now. I have the world's sweetest husband - who happens to adore me! I have 3 fun kids- who drive me crazy--- but that is not going to change even if we do Win the Lotto! I have great things in my life now. Not just in two years when "this" is all over.
Even a couple years ago- I was going through a really rough spot with the P.A. school rejection, finances tightening, and life just getting hard. I cried a lot. I wondered how I would look back on those months, if I actually survived them. But when I do look back- I see those as the months when Macie was a new born who snuggled me all the time. I see a time when JT loved me deeply and was sincerely concerned for my happiness. I see a time when I felt the Savior's love so tenderly.
These next few years shouldn't be a waiting period filled with hours of playing "The Someday Game." They are meant to be lived and enjoyed!
(And maybe I can splurge on my Mascara every now and then!)