Thursday, January 12, 2012

"The Someday Game"

One of our Favorite Games to play right now is called:
"Someday, when you Graduate from P.A. School...."
and then we fill in the blank with whatever wonderful thing we want to do when he graduates. 
Let's play, it's fun.

We can go on a Cruise to the Bahamas.
I can buy Lancome mascara again.
We will take the kids to Disneyland!
We can move somewhere sunny. (as long as all of our friends vow to move with us)
I will buy Lilash.
I can redecorate the entire house exactly how I want it!
I will get a tummy tuck :)
We will have more time together.

See, this game could go on forever. But when I reread the list I have to remind myself that he will not be Winning the Lotto-- he will simply have a steady income! :)  I recently read my sister in law's blog talking about waiting for her husband's residency to be over.  Although she didn't post her wish list of all the fun things she wants to do when they are "rich" (rich being in parenthesis because I realize we will not be millionaires-- at least not yet) she did mention how easy it is to be waiting for the next phase in life and not completely loving the phase you are in.  She even referenced a really great article about this- As for years.

So here we are- two years from completing P.A. school (ok, 4 months from even beginning P.A. school!) and I have already figured out how to spend his first 10 pay checks! (without paying back any of the student loans:) But I don't want to get caught looking at "the end" and missing the middle. 

How can I have my cake and eat it too?  Take out more student loans to go on that cruise now? (ok, bad idea, but tempting...)  I need to enjoy what I have and where I am.  After a particularly difficult budgeting night for us last week I was really bummed out.  My list for "things to buy when he graduates" was astronomical.  I was so frustrated.  (the funny thing is- my list is full of really dumb things that I am the only one who cares about! not important things like New Washing Machine- but petty things like designer boots) And then JT did some random, sweet thing.  (for the life of me, I can not even remember what it was!) The list vanished.  The "somedays" were gone.  And suddenly I was sucked right back in to the Now.  I saw how wonderful life is Right Now.  I have the world's sweetest husband - who happens to adore me!  I have 3 fun kids- who drive me crazy--- but that is not going to change even if we do Win the Lotto!  I have great things in my life now.  Not just in two years when "this" is all over. 

Even a couple years ago- I was going through a really rough spot with the P.A. school rejection, finances tightening, and life just getting hard.  I cried a lot.  I wondered how I would look back on those months, if I actually survived them.  But when I do look back- I see those as the months when Macie was a new born who snuggled me all the time. I see a time when JT loved me deeply and was sincerely concerned for my happiness.  I see a time when I felt the Savior's love so tenderly. 

These next few years shouldn't be a waiting period filled with hours of playing "The Someday Game."  They are meant to be lived and enjoyed! 
(And maybe I can splurge on my Mascara every now and then!)


  1. A friend who I worked with YEARS ago told me that she and her husband each had 1-2 splurge items that they each included in their budget. Her big thing was nylons. She had to have the expensive, silky, make-you-feel-sexy nylons. She didn't buy them ALL the time, but they were her item. I don't know what her husband's item was...but I'm sure it was just as frivolous to her and nylons were to him. :)

    We still play The Someday Game. In fact, I can't think of one couple that I know that doesn't play. It's fun to imagine what you'll be able to do when *fill in the event* happens. I guess the important part is not living on The Someday List.

    P.S. My vord verification is scowstr, (pronounced "SCOW-ster"). Definition? One of those grumpy sister missionaries that give all of the good ones a bad name. ;)

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. I talk to much... Hope to see you soon!

  4. why did you remove that comment Shelbi?? I loved it!

  5. I love this post. I can totally relate in a lot of ways. Obviously, we're not facing a student life, but your sentiments felt similar to feelings I've had. Since we got married our path is always going in unexpected directions so I start planning for one thing and something happens (like "Oh, Stephanie, you're supposed to have one more baby!"). So I feel like a lot of our dreams and goals get put on hold. Granted, a lot of it is poor planning on my part too, but it just always feels like, no matter where we are, there's always somewhere else my gaze is directed. It's a good reminder to focus on what's right in front of me and enjoy the moment.