The First of the Month

Little know fact about me.

I LOVE the FIRST of the MONTH.

I LOVE CALENDARS and ESPECIALLY I Love TURNING the page of a NEW CALENDAR.

I love this for a lot of reasons. I like to see the semi blank page of the next month as it slowly fills up. I like the feeling of a Blank Canvas that I can direct, and sculpt and create for the next 30 days of my life. I like the feeling of turning the page and literally putting the Past Behind me. I like the sense of Accomplishment I feel as I "grow up" and see another year progress. I also LOVE every month it gets Closer to SUNSHINE!! (which is ironic since I am not sure which month to look forward to the sunshine since we never arrived at that month Last Year... trying NOT to be bitter...)

So- MARCH - I flipped the Calendar early this month. I know there is One Day Left in February (yeah for last day Visiting Teaching) but I am geared up for March.


I have ONE MONTH DOWN in my 90 Day Goals.
I have learned a TON already in just one month. I am really excited to see what else I can accomplish in the next month. I want to be Better at taking down my STATS on each of my Goals. Not just roughly estimating how I did, but CONCRETE statistics.

Here is a small UP-DATE:

I have learned that a Goal is not Completely Useless if you Do NOT Meet the Goal you intended. This is NEW to me. I think I have always measured Goals as Success or Failure with very little in between. I have discovered that Doing Better Than I Was does still count for something. And that slipping up is NOT the End of the world.

Example:
I am trying to eat only ONE TREAT a WEEK. Ask me how many weeks I have been completely "successful" at this in the 4 short weeks I have done it??
(oh no, you are actually asking me?? and I pride myself on the "realness" of my blog? so I have to answer that? aaggghhhh!)
ONE

One week out of 4 I have been successful at eating only ONE TREAT per WEAK.

BUT I have NOT eaten Ice Cream EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, followed by Twizzlers, Red Vines, or Peach Rings, followed by a handful of Peanut Butter M&M's like I have been doing for the past year. So I AM IMPROVING. And that feels GOOD! (there may be some exaggeration here, but not a lot)

I am trying to Learn Spanish. What?! We didn't get in to Puerto Rico? So why continue to Learn Spanish, Katie? Because it is a GOAL.
Am I fluent? No, but I have been putting in HOURS a week on my Homework. I have been turning off the T.V., setting down the extra Reading, getting off of the internet to study. And THAT feels BUENO! :)
(my mind still goes to Malagasy first- so I really wanted to write that it feels "Tsara be"!)

I am spending time Every Day Planning the next day. I feel so much more focused. I feel like my day is not just happening to me- but I am happening to it. This has allowed me to get so much more done! My house is cleaner than it has been since Macie was born. We have eaten better meals, been more focused at the gym, spent more time doing fun things with my kids, and accomplished way more with less stress! And that Feels Good.

There are alot more things I am accomplishing on my goals, that I plan to write about another day- but I just want to say I FEEL GOOD!

I am excited to Flip the Calendar and get started on an even Better Month than Last Month! Yeah me.

P.S. MUST give SHOUT OUT to Former Accountability Partner Aubrey for being a Rock Star and keeping me On Task- even when she was in Hawaii! And a Woot Woot to Heather, NEW Accountability Partner for the Energy I already feel from her! Yeah US!


Happy First of the Month.

"now cash your checks and get up...."

10 points to anyone who can name the song that those beloved lyrics came from.....

B.F.F.'s

BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!

Ok, Seriously, am I really going there, saying a phrase like that???

YES, Yes I am.

A few years ago I was discouraged about what happens to Friendship with Adulthood. I wondered if friendships get left behind because of Marriage (I remember my Best Friend and my Sisters all getting married years ago and me feeling like a Displaced Puppy with no where to go- since now it was naturally their Hubbie's job to take care of them. duh, Katie), Children (as we all know, in some ways- who your kids get along with determines who your friends are), Work/Home whatever it is we take care of that takes our minds off of our friends. Because of this Evolution I found myself asking JT what would happen to me?? Would I ever make Meaningful Friendships again? Or would they all be based on having kids in the same size diaper, working in the same callings at church, or those people assigned to be my friend through visiting teaching? Would anyone Ever KNOW the Real Katie Tyler again? Or would I just be The Mom of the Size 5 Diaper and the other two? the Other lady that is at the church every Wed with the YW? the Girl who sometimes forgets about the visiting teaching appointment and is rushing out the door to preschool? Would I have Friendships based on WHO I AM- AND WHO I WANT TO BE AROUND? Would our conversations be based on Teething Toys and Time Outs? Would our Fun be planning another YW activity? Would we ever have the Deep Conversations about Dreams and Hopes and even Let Downs that I remember sharing with beloved Mission Companions? Or were those days Gone for Good???

(this is sounding a little dramatic.. but it wouldn't be me if it wasn't a little over the top, right?)

But this past year I recognized EVERY thing I THOUGHT I might be losing.

I had Friends who were there for middle of the night phone calls and mid afternoon breakdowns. When I NEEDED a SHOULDER to CRY ON.

I had Friends who stood next to me, and stood up for me when others would Betray me.

I had Friends who would inspire me and encourage me by simply being themselves! Girls that I admire and hope to be like someday.

(I have to interrupt to give an example here:
sitting in the chapel at the Stake Relief Society Program in January was OVERWHELMING. Not only was the Spirit so strong, and the message So Powerful- but I was overcome with emotion sitting near SO MANY AMAZING WOMEN that I adore and look up to! I was SURROUNDED by friends and sisters that are so talented. Not to mention the desire I had - and successfully suppressed - to Stand on the pew and brag to everyone that I AM FRIENDS WITH THE GIRLS WHO ARE BEHIND THIS!! I felt so much pride that those talented women are my friends! That I have found a way to surround myself with such FABULOUS girlfriends!!)

I discovered Real Connections with the Cute Girls I visit teach, my own companion, and those that visit me!

I have had Friends drop off dinners, cookies, and treats on days that I NEEDED love (in the form of Yumminess!) That may not have even known they were dropping off WAY more than soup or cookies or Lasagna.

I had Friends who were patient when I was falling apart. Who let me take my time getting back together again - and thankfully expected very little out of me when I had very little to give.

I had Friends who Said the Exact Right things at the Exact Right Time.

I had Friends who truly LET ME BE MYSELF. This is a BIG one for me. To feel like I can be Katie and that is a GOOD thing. To feel like I am More than any of my Titles- I am ME.

I had Friends who I haven't seen in years (and some I have never even met) leave THOUGHTFUL comments on my Blog.


And then last night...
(really, am I actually crying about this again??)
I had Friends show up- on my porch with Pina Coladas in hand. Ready to Listen and Love and Laugh with me. TO REALLY BE THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEEDED IT.


They didn't ASK ANYTHING FROM ME. They weren't THERE for my Size 4 Diaper (who of course HAD to wake up to check out the party), they didn't small talk about the weather and snow outside, they weren't there on an Assignment. (unless Shelbi and Jenni were threatening them...) I REALLY DO THINK they were here last night BECAUSE THEY LOVE ME. Not just me for my kids, me for my calling, me for my awesome hair (I couldn't think of anything better than that, but I knew most of you reading are sick of the sappiness and needed something to laugh at- cuz my hair is super awesome) I REALLY DO THINK they were THERE FOR ME.


So, ask me again about the Evolution of Friendship in Adulthood? Ask me if I think strong bonds of friendship are reserved for the College years or left behind in the Mission Field? Ask me how I feel about the possibility of Knowing each other outside of our Titles of Mother, Teacher, or Neighbor?


So- there it is. I have them. Lots of them.



BEST
FRIENDS
FOREVER

Footprints

Someday I will update this with a picture... that I wish I would have taken when Riley said this wonderful sentence.

Riley was walking in the snow today and looked over her shoulder and said:

"My Footprints Follow Me Everywhere!"

I am not sure why, but it was the most adorable thing ever!

Puerto Rico, by way of Announcement

I know, we have all been waiting for JT to come home from work, open the Mailbox and find a Giant Envelope and whole bunch of Marshmellows saying that he has been accepted to Chattham's P.A. Program in Puerto Rico.

Well, I am here to announce that on Saturday (after a VERY LONG few days of work) he opened the Mailbox to find the THIN Envelope that felt like DeJa Vu even to my fingertips.


(I am saying HE DID NOT GET IN, incase anyone is confused out there in blogland)


SO, HERE WE GO AGAIN.

man, I am TRYING REALLY HARD to think of SOMETHING WITTY to say right now.

Is it the fact that I am STILL sick from my run in with Mastitis?
Is it the fact that I am tired and distracted by Macie who is not down for her afternoon nap?
OR am I just plain OUT OF FUNNY THINGS TO SAY ABOUT REJECTION??


So- go ahead and pass it on. (that will make this easier on me)

I guess I will take some QUESTIONS from the AUDIENCE now.

Q: HOw did JT handle the news?
It was pretty rough. I think he is still in shock. And I am LAME at being Sympathetic. I should be a better wife.

Q: What will you do next?
probably NOT go buy a ton of Sunglasses like I had originally planned.

Q: What is Plan B?
oh, you mean Plan J,
I Don't Know.

(this makes me feel like After my Mission, when people are excited to see you and ask What you are going to do next, and I am still closing my eyes to hear the sounds of Madagascar and smelling my clothes to remember the smells and HOPING to NOT have to enter reality yet because I am not ready to let go of the mission... let the poor missionary tell you about the mission before you bug him about BYU!!!)

Q: How is KT handling the news?
I am surprisingly OK. I think I was being prepared for this, somewhere in the back of my mind. So, I get it. I am just HOPING that JT comes up with a Plan J soon.

Q: What can all of your FANS in the Blogosphere and around you DO for you guys?
Fans? why thank you, I had no idea!:)
well, I think JT could use a few prayers for some direction.
I think KT could use a few Hugs. And maybe even the other way around. :) And as cliche as it sounds- I DO appreciate it when you all say that you are glad that we will be staying here. If Puerto Rico doesn't want me- at least you guys do. :)

And if anyone wants to go out for a Virgin Pina Colada in Honor of What Might Have Been- I would take you up on it!


SO, there you go. That's All She Wrote.

Consider Yourself Warned...

A poem about breasts

by katie tyler

Some say it is from Pregnancy

I’ve read it could be Nursing

My Doctor says Hereditary

But either way, I’m cursing.

How is it that at Seventeen

They were perky and in place.

But now at Thirty Two

They sag like a Disgrace?

It’s bad enough I’ve got “Fine Lines”

And that my Waistline’s Shot.

But do They have to flop like this

And everything go to Pot?!

I feel like I have been Betrayed

Shouldn’t we Girls stick together!?

But no, they sag, and shrink, and shrivel-

And NOTHING makes it better.

It would not be Sooo bad,

If sagging was all there is.

But here I am in just two months

With another case of Mastitis!

Oh, Girls, the things we go through

The Pains that we endure.

This has to be another sick joke-

Played on us by Nature!

(WAIT A SECOND! Mother Nature?? SHE’s BEHIND ALL OF THIS???—I think we better blame SCIENCE!)

all joking aside- this is SO lame! puking, fevers, headaches, burning, pain, enough already! isn't this girl weaned yet??

somewhere i have never travelled

somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
by E. E. Cummings
somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond any experience,your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near your slightest look easily will unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers, you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose or if your wish be to close me, i and my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly, as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending; nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility:whose texture compels me with the color of its countries, rendering death and forever with each breathing (i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands

This has always been my favorite poem. (who wouldn't love phrases like "snow carefully everywhere descending"?? and e.e. cumming lovely disregard for punctuation!) I use to hope that it was written for me. I think this was because as a child my Mom always told me I had the Tiniest Hands. I thought that was an endearing feature to have.

But things have changed.

Now when I read this poem I don't see a Hansom Prince reading me Poetry outside my window.

I see a little girl.

I see somewhere I have never travelled... somewhere I couldn't have even imagined in my wildest dreams. A place where I never even existed 5 years ago.

Motherhood.

I see Her as a baby, beautiful beyond any description. Which I "cannot touch" because it is too near to my heart, too amazing to fully comprehend.

I never thought I could be opened and closed or that I would be at the Mercy of Spring and it's wishes. And here I am. Her happiness is everything. And I am enclosed in it.

I never understood the "Power of your intense fragility" until I held her crying from a broken heart or a bruised knee. Or really what it could mean to be "compelled by the color of (her) countries" Until I saw her in all of her WONDERFUL COLORS and EMOTIONS. ONLY the word "Countries" could describe all that she possesses.

I would "render death and forever" for each of her breaths!

And although she is only Four Years Old, I feel like I understand the "Voice of her Eyes."

What a Beautiful Blessing it is to hold in my own the Hands that are even Smaller Than the Rain's.

I know she will grow. I know she may change. But I know her Hands Will ALWAYS be Smaller than the Rain's to me.






I love you dearly, Miss Riley Kate. I never expected to find a Best Friend in my Daughter, especially at such a Young Age! I never expected to find so much in someone so little. You are so special to me. I love the smell of your hair when I Kiss you Goodnight. I love the feel of your breath when you whisper funny things in my ears. I love the sound of your laugh. And the Joy you find in making others laugh. The light in your voice and eyes. And the GLOW that surrounds you. Ever since you were a Baby, you stood out. I felt like it took hours longer to go shopping with you because strangers HAD to come and see your infectious smile! They loved you too. More than once I had people I had never met tell me how you made their day. You have a Special Gift. THANK YOU for being all mine. I love you.

Marshmellows

Waiting to hear back from Puerto Rico... Jt mentioned that he thinks we should have heard back by now...

I guess I feel like I am STARING AT MARSHMELLOWS....

Mormon Messages

(that will ONLY make sense if you click on the link :)

to be Better than I am

Jt and I just joined a 90 Day Goal Group
oh, you have never heard of a 90 Day Goal Group? it is AWESOME :)

Here is the idea--
you and a group of friends/strangers get together. individually you set personal goals in 5 categories that you will work on for the next 90 days. one of those friends/strangers will be your Accountability Partner. their job is to check in with you TWICE a day to help you achieve your goals while you do the same for them.

( i hear a lot of you snickering thinking "good luck getting a hold of Katie TWICE a day!" she hasn't called ME back in months!!)

but it is part of the Rules- so yes, i answer my phone twice a day. (and sorry, all, that fills my quota)

this partner idea is amazing. it helps to have someone ASK you IF you actually DID your goals. (especially someone who is not your cute spouse) and give you some great ideas. it also helps for day 37 when you feel like giving up and they won't let you. it also feels good to help someone else reach their goals.


Ever since my Mission I have been a little Obsessed with being "EFFECTIVE". For anyone who has ever read the old Missionary Guide and remembers page after page of comparisons between "Effective" and "Less Effective" Missionary Work they know what I am talking about. It was drilled in to us to use our time wisely, to Be Effective. (after all- we are on the Lord's time)

The other thing I picked up on my Mission was the LOVE of GOAL SETTING. (I guess I should have learned this with Personal Progress- but regretfully I did not) I LOVED setting Goals with my Companions. Especially STRETCHING GOALS. The ones we knew we could ONLY ACCOMPLISH with the HELP of the Lord. The ones that pushed us. That kept us working hard and feeling exhausted yet successful.

SO- OF COURSE I LOVE THIS 90 DAY GOAL GROUP!

So- in case anyone wants to know what I will be doing for the next 90 days- Here you go.
Feel free to ASK me anytime how it is going. (preferably in Spanish...)

SPIRITUAL GOALS

• Attend the Temple Twice a Month for 90 Days
• Take a question to my Scripture Study Daily and write about the answer and experience in my Scripture Journal
• Pray before I leave my room every morning

PHYSICAL GOALS

• Train for a Half Marathon
• Work Out at least 5 days a Week
• Only ONE Candy/Treat a Week :(
• Eat TWO yummy Veggies a Day

MENTAL GOALS

• Study Spanish a minimum of 4 hours a Week
• Initiate a Conversation in Spanish 1 a Week
• Spend 5 minutes a Night Planning for the Next Day

FINANCIAL GOALS

• Attend the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Program Every Week
• Have a Monthly Budget Meeting with JT - followed by kissing :)

PERSONAL GOALS

• No Social Internet until the kids are in Bed (email, fb, Blogs)
• Organize and Archive the Mess that is my Family Pictures (4 hours minumum per week)
• Wake up at 7am Daily

So, there you go. WISH ME LUCK! I am really excited- a little bit overwhelmed- but I plan to Blog about the experience as I go:)