"If you keep making that face - it will STAY like THAT PERMANENTLY"
"Don't sit TOO CLOSE to the T.V. - You'll go BLIND"
We've heard them all. The things we are TOLD and the THREATS that are made to keep us FROM HAVING FUN.
Well, I have some news for everyone. I have DISCOVERED some new ones. Things we are TOLD- that are just NOT TRUE.... according to Katie Tyler.
Recently I GAVE UP DIET COKE- well Soda in GENERAL. Until the other night I couldn't REMEMBER the LAST SODA I had. I did this because the Caffeine gives me headaches- and I think it might be bad for me. But SECRETLY I was also thinking of all of the RUMORS I heard that SODA makes you GAIN WEIGHT or at LEAST RETAIN WEIGHT. I have heard the MYTHS of people LOSING WEIGHT just by QUITING SODA! So- I eagerly LOOKED FORWARD to this ADDED BONUS.
THAT WAS LIE #1.
I have also (per my 90 day goals) recently GIVEN UP TREATS. Or at least SIGNIFICANTLY CUT THEM BACK. I went from DAILY CANDY/ICE CREAM and Bi-Weekly BAKING EXTRAVAGANZAS to ONE TREAT PER WEEK. This has been EXCRUCIATINGLY DIFFICULT to me (apparently I was addicted to yummy stuff physically as well as emotionally--we can talk about me crying in my pillow at night, drinking glass after glass of water, and finally chewing gum to get rid of the hole in my heart and the cravings another time). But I have been fairly successful. (passing up CUPCAKES??? yep) I did this because I had HEARD SOMEWEHRE that TREATS are BAD FOR YOU!
LIE #2.
I have been going to the Gym almost DAILY for months- almost a year now. So long that people are starting to REALIZE I WEAR the same GYM CLOTHES ALL THE TIME! (ok, no one has said anything -- but I know you all notice) I have been rotating between cardio and weights. I have even worked with a Trainer (who laughs at my scrawny muscles- but I don't mind because they ARE wimpy... but I can TIE Darcy in an Arm Wrestle- so there) I even SWEAT at the GYM and even grunt sometimes like that really buff guy that always swears and throws the weights down when he is done.. I don't swear though. Now- let's clear this up-- I am NOT GOING TO THE GYM to LOSE WEIGHT. Apparently this is ALSO an addiction (like the treats) where the more I go - the BETTER I FEEL! I feel HAPPY after the Gym, Patient with my kids, more Organized with my time, all around better. BUT I HAVE HEARD that EXCERCISE HELPS YOU LOSE WEIGHT! So once again- I ASSUMED this would be an added BONUS!
LIE #3.
Now some of you are annoyed right now with me- complaining about WEIGHT... sorry. Some of you are considering writing a nice comment about how good I look... thanks- but you don't stand behind me on the scale (like MEN always do at the Gym-- don't they KNOW that number is PERSONAL?? Why do they stand so close??) The rest of you think I am just plain CRAZY because 6 pounds is not a BIG DEAL... BUT 6 LBS on a 5'3" body- in just 3 months- WHILE giving up SODA, SWEETS, and WORKING OUT IS a BIG DEAL! UUGGHHH!!
SO I am here to say that ALL of those things Jillian says on Biggest Loser is a LIE.
From NOW ON- Katie Tyler DRINKS WHATEVER I WANT (ok, still no DIET COKE because it really DOES give me HEADACHES), EATS SWEETS WHENEVER I WANT (ok, AFTER the 90 day goals- because I am too proud to admit failure on one of my personal goals) and WORKS OUT STRICTLY FOR FUN!!!(ok ,I guess I was already doing that)
Ok, then, FOR STARTERS I am EATING A PAN of My Little Sister Beth's DELICIOUS Puff Pastry CINNAMON ROLLS while SITTING TOO CLOSE to the T.V. and MAKING a SILLY FACE!
TAKE THAT EVERYONE WHO HAS TOLD ME A LIE TO KEEP ME FROM HAVING FUN!!!
I have, on two totally separate occasions, stopped consuming soft drinks for a 3-month period with the same weight loss goal. One word: false.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. I should give up diet coke, but not because it "contributes to weight gain." Point me to whatever study you want - I'll show you two clinical trials wherein this theory was debunked for my "body type."
In conclusion, don't buy an official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot range model air rifle because you'll shoot your eye out. It's a fact.
I think everyone is conspiring against me. My sister-in-law is saying that she discovered that an IUD can make it harder to lose weight. You're saying all those things you listed don't necessarily make you lose weight. I think eventually I'm gonna just have to be happy with all this extra blubber. . . . or you know, actually work to get it off. That sucks.
ReplyDeleteRight on sista! Preach it. I tried the no coke thing, it does nothing. My motto is everything in moderation, eat or drink whatever you want, just don't go crazy and you will be fine. Let me know when your 90 days is up, I will bring you over some treats. ;)
ReplyDeleteYay Katie! (sweet addicts love company)
ReplyDeleteIt is definitely a lie when you think the 3 wrong things together will make you lose weight. All those things mean nothing if you're consuming too many calories. I lost 7 pounds in one month eating no sweets, but it wouldn't have done anything if I hadn't counted calories, too. And there have been so many times in my life where I work out every day but nothing happens, it's because it's not going to work by itself! The soda thing I totally agree with because I always drink diet while I'm dieting and it never stops me from losing weight.
ReplyDeleteWhy isn't anyone telling you how strong you must be if you are able to TIE Darcy in an arm wrestle?
ReplyDeletep.s. Can I come over and eat some of your little sister's Puff Pastry cinnamon rolls and sit too close to the T.V. with you? That's my kind of fun! I will probably hold off on the making a silly face, because what if that ends up being true?
Now along with the Cinnamon Rolls I must EAT MY WORDS...
ReplyDeleteAlthough I am inexplicably gaining weight- I DO FEEL BETTER from giving up sweets and soda and going to the gym. This was expecially OBVIOUS today when I woke up to go RUNNING and could hardly MOVE because I felt so icky from my Cinnamon Roll Hang Over!! I never believed people when they said that they actually FEEL BETTER when they eat better! (I thought that was LIE #4!)
did not mean to write eXpecially - but it is too cool to edit
ReplyDeletei am totally picturing the training montage from rocky right now. katie tyler runs to the top of the steps--triumph!
ReplyDeletei haven't heard the soda thing--even diet soda? because if you're drinking a lot of regular soda with lots of calories and sugar, i can see that making a difference. i don't know about diet, though.
hang in there for the ninety day goals and then we can eat something chocolatey together! i'm dying over here!
I gave up all carbonated beverages also (as a new years resolution). Not for the goal of weight loss, but for the goal of gaining control over my worldly appetites; although I am convinced there are health benefits to not drinking soda. FACT #1: I hear sex leads to babies (name the movie).
ReplyDelete