When my Little Sister moved to England she left behind her CARPET CLEANER...
Lately I have been noticing a few spots and I decided that YESTERDAY would be the day to CLEAN my CARPETS...
After I put the kids down I got the Carpet Cleaner out. The directions suggested Vacuuming the floor first. Duh. SO I got the Vacuum out, then I realized what a MESS my house was. SO I began picking up toys. Which made me realize how unorganized my toys are! SO I thought about better ways to organize them. As I was finding a new home for a toy, I tripped over the Carpet Cleaner chord and remembered that I was suppose to cleaning my Carpets. I abandoned organizing and got back to vacuuming. Then I realized it would be a waste of time to clean JUST the carpet that "shows", so I would need to move all the furniture. After pulling out one part of the couch I realized this is MORE than I could do by myself.
SO I resigned to the SPOT CLEANER and attacking the spots. Have you ever noticed that removing the BIG SPOT should seem like a RELIEF and like you might be done... when really it just makes you notice the SMALL SPOTS MORE!! And now you have EVEN MORE WORK than you thought?? (Gospel Principle here?? I won't go into all that with this Post)
As I worked on what started as a few BIG SPOTS and multiplied into a MILLION LITTLE SPOTS I began to wonder WHY there were so many spots on my two year old carpet?? Was someone secretly SNEAKING food out of my kitchen and spilling it on their way up stairs? (my kids, thankfully, have still not figured out sneaking food - which would only leave me to blame since JT is very careful and I am not, so that CAN'T be it) I looked into my Kitchen hoping for an explanation when I noticed (because I was ground level) how HORRIFYING my KITCHEN FLOOR is!!!
No one is SNEAKING food out of the kitchen! We are TRACKING it out on our FEET!!!
This was more than I could take so I cleaned the stairs and called it a night.
TODAY, after getting all of my little ones in bed for naps I crept downstairs to start it again.
This time, I would begin IN the KITCHEN (the SOURCE of the problem) I got out the Mop, but realized I would definitely need to SWEEP first. (my BIGGEST pet peeve on earth is SWEEPING) So I grabbed my pink broom (which I bought hoping it would cheer my up to do my least favorite chore with my most favorite color... it actually does help) As I started to sweep a path through the cereal, bits of crayon from Blake chewing them last night, and every other scary thing on my floor I noticed the Counter Tops.... Can you guess where this is going?
HOW could I sweep with dirty Counter Tops?? There is nothing worse than having a shiny clean floor and then wiping a counter top only to have a crumb fall to the ground!
So, set a side the Carpet Cleaner for the Vacuum, and the Vacuum for the Spot Cleaner, and the Spot Cleaner for the Mop, and the Mop for the Broom and now the Broom for the Sponge!!
I WISH it stopped here.
Of course I noticed how awful my counters are! Sometime I am guilty of wiping the counter but not getting into the cracks between the counter and the wall, or the back splash, or around the edges of my sugar canister. All of these SNEAKY little places where shouting out at me "You CAN'T SWEEP IF I'M NOT CLEAN!!"
Now nap time is drawing to an end. I hear rustling through the Baby Monitor.
AND I AM NO CLOSER TO CLEAN CARPETS THAN I WAS YESTERDAY!!!
How on EARTH are we suppose to KEEP UP?? In a few minutes, 3 little ones will be awake and set back out on their daily mission of destroying my home!! (don't get me wrong-- I am actually OK with the mass destruction of our home-- it is the CLEANING UP I can't handle!) By the time I get them back down for bed tonight we will have gotten out all of the toys I tried to organize, I will make a dinner which will get crumbs all over my counter tops that are bound to be wiped onto the floor, which won't matter because Blake will have tracked dirt in from the backyard, while Riley drips paint from her art project, and Macie spits Green Beans down her bumbo, missing my lap, directly back onto that floor!! Just in time for JT to come home, step in it and accidentally spread it to my Living Room Carpet. So when I get the Carpet Cleaner back out- I will be right back in the KITCHEN!!
It is so discouraging I don't even know WHERE to begin!!
I guess the ONLY thing TO DO is let the little ones mess it up. Keep making yummy dinners that end up on our feet and in the Living Room and just SELL THE DARN HOUSE WHEN MY KIDS ARE OLDER AND DONE DESTROYING IT!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
The Slug
While running the other morning I had an interesting encounter with a slug.
I was out running at a near by lake. I came around the corner on my first lap and looked down just in time to see a little baby slug right in the middle of the trail. I leaped and twisted to avoid stepping on it. I am not sure if I was concerned about squishing the little guy or of his little guts getting on my running shoes. Either way- I narrowly missed the squirmy little slug. I smiled to myself about risking my ankles to save a baby slug and kept running.
As I came around the corner on my second lap, I looked down to dodge him- but noticed that he had made it the two feet to the edge of the pavement and out of my way. I kind of laughed when I saw that I had run a half mile in the time it took him to get a foot out of the way.
Victoriously I congratulated myself for at least being faster than a slug. I may have even been a little smug about it. (you can tell I am rarely faster than anyone!)
Then as I was running away I thought of how that little baby slug was probably laughing at ME and thinking how he had already made it to the edge of the path while I was right back in the same spot as before!!
So WHO is the real winner? The one who seems to just make it to their destination in time to avoid disaster-- or the one who keeps ending up in the same spot every half mile??
Apparently I need new music on my Ipod if I have this much time to ponder while I am running!!
I was out running at a near by lake. I came around the corner on my first lap and looked down just in time to see a little baby slug right in the middle of the trail. I leaped and twisted to avoid stepping on it. I am not sure if I was concerned about squishing the little guy or of his little guts getting on my running shoes. Either way- I narrowly missed the squirmy little slug. I smiled to myself about risking my ankles to save a baby slug and kept running.
As I came around the corner on my second lap, I looked down to dodge him- but noticed that he had made it the two feet to the edge of the pavement and out of my way. I kind of laughed when I saw that I had run a half mile in the time it took him to get a foot out of the way.
Victoriously I congratulated myself for at least being faster than a slug. I may have even been a little smug about it. (you can tell I am rarely faster than anyone!)
Then as I was running away I thought of how that little baby slug was probably laughing at ME and thinking how he had already made it to the edge of the path while I was right back in the same spot as before!!
So WHO is the real winner? The one who seems to just make it to their destination in time to avoid disaster-- or the one who keeps ending up in the same spot every half mile??
Apparently I need new music on my Ipod if I have this much time to ponder while I am running!!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
She's Baa-aack
What? I didn't realize she was ever gone??
I don't know if this is an apology, an explanation, or hopefully to help someone else.
A little over a month ago I was talking to a friend who also recently had a baby, and she was describing her struggle with Post Pardum Depression. As I listened I felt so bad for her. "Glad I don't have that... " Then she said something that really struck me "I just wanted to feel like myself again"
For the past few months I have NOT felt like MYSELF. I thought it was just everyday struggles (you know the whole waiting to get in to Pacific only to not get in, to get my hopes up for Puerto Rico to not get in either, to realize it is time to start the whole yucky reapplication process again stuff) I thought I was just avoiding things I liked because they were distracting me from taking care of my family. ("calling a friend is time away from my baby", I know, it sounds nuts) I thought I was staying up all night because I don't NEED sleep (not because I have insomnia and CAN'T fall asleep) And I did not realize that these are all signs of depression.
I thought that because I am not crying, or staying in bed I must not be depressed. I thought that if I just prayed more, or studied my scriptures more I would feel better. I thought that Satan was just working REALLY hard to discourage me. I found myself thinking "IT shouldn't be THIS hard!" "I shouldn't have to read my scriptures for HOURS a day to feel happy" "I shouldn't still feel stressed even after I go to the gym" (which use to be my release) "My calling should not feel overwhelming" "I am avoiding my friends because I just don't have time"
Suddenly after talking to this friend it ALL MADE SENSE. This coincidentally began 6 weeks after Macie was born! And just progressively got worse as time went on.
Everyone reacts differently to Depression. I started to have sever panic attacks, and then to have times where I completely shut down. I didn't know how to talk to any one about it- because I was still struggling to even have a desire TO talk to anyone. Finally- thanks to the wonderful world of prescription medicine (which I am normally not a fan of medicine) and some wonderful blessings (which I definitely AM a fan of!) I am FINALLY STARTING TO FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN.
Most of you probably had no idea. But some of you noticed and wondered what the heck was wrong with me :)
Most of you aren't too surprised when I don't answer my phone, or check my email, or respond to a text. But some of you did notice. And I hope you realize (my favorite line from the YSA years) It's not you- It's ME.
SO I feel like I'm Back, mostly.
What does that mean? Ok, let's be honest, I still probably won't answer my phone, or check my email, or remember get togethers that I am suppose to go to. BUT I will at least WANT to do those things! I still may need some patience as you try to invite me to play groups, or for me to call you back, but I am trying. :)
So the moral of the story is:
This wacky depression stuff can happen to ANYONE. And it isn't cool. But I am grateful for friends who bring flowers, jam, and words of encouragement, who keep trying to call me. I am grateful for friends who talk about things like depression- because it makes it easier for me to talk about it and accept it. I am grateful for a husband who has been absolutely patient and tender hearted as he has watched his wife fall completely apart and slowly come back together. I am grateful for "happy pills" that actually work! I am grateful that Macie has STILL been my Peace through all of this. I am grateful for the Atonement, and the recognition that it even covers this. That He knows exactly how it feels to not be myself and not like it. And I am grateful to start feeling like I'm coming back.
I don't know if this is an apology, an explanation, or hopefully to help someone else.
A little over a month ago I was talking to a friend who also recently had a baby, and she was describing her struggle with Post Pardum Depression. As I listened I felt so bad for her. "Glad I don't have that... " Then she said something that really struck me "I just wanted to feel like myself again"
For the past few months I have NOT felt like MYSELF. I thought it was just everyday struggles (you know the whole waiting to get in to Pacific only to not get in, to get my hopes up for Puerto Rico to not get in either, to realize it is time to start the whole yucky reapplication process again stuff) I thought I was just avoiding things I liked because they were distracting me from taking care of my family. ("calling a friend is time away from my baby", I know, it sounds nuts) I thought I was staying up all night because I don't NEED sleep (not because I have insomnia and CAN'T fall asleep) And I did not realize that these are all signs of depression.
I thought that because I am not crying, or staying in bed I must not be depressed. I thought that if I just prayed more, or studied my scriptures more I would feel better. I thought that Satan was just working REALLY hard to discourage me. I found myself thinking "IT shouldn't be THIS hard!" "I shouldn't have to read my scriptures for HOURS a day to feel happy" "I shouldn't still feel stressed even after I go to the gym" (which use to be my release) "My calling should not feel overwhelming" "I am avoiding my friends because I just don't have time"
Suddenly after talking to this friend it ALL MADE SENSE. This coincidentally began 6 weeks after Macie was born! And just progressively got worse as time went on.
Everyone reacts differently to Depression. I started to have sever panic attacks, and then to have times where I completely shut down. I didn't know how to talk to any one about it- because I was still struggling to even have a desire TO talk to anyone. Finally- thanks to the wonderful world of prescription medicine (which I am normally not a fan of medicine) and some wonderful blessings (which I definitely AM a fan of!) I am FINALLY STARTING TO FEEL LIKE MYSELF AGAIN.
Most of you probably had no idea. But some of you noticed and wondered what the heck was wrong with me :)
Most of you aren't too surprised when I don't answer my phone, or check my email, or respond to a text. But some of you did notice. And I hope you realize (my favorite line from the YSA years) It's not you- It's ME.
SO I feel like I'm Back, mostly.
What does that mean? Ok, let's be honest, I still probably won't answer my phone, or check my email, or remember get togethers that I am suppose to go to. BUT I will at least WANT to do those things! I still may need some patience as you try to invite me to play groups, or for me to call you back, but I am trying. :)
So the moral of the story is:
This wacky depression stuff can happen to ANYONE. And it isn't cool. But I am grateful for friends who bring flowers, jam, and words of encouragement, who keep trying to call me. I am grateful for friends who talk about things like depression- because it makes it easier for me to talk about it and accept it. I am grateful for a husband who has been absolutely patient and tender hearted as he has watched his wife fall completely apart and slowly come back together. I am grateful for "happy pills" that actually work! I am grateful that Macie has STILL been my Peace through all of this. I am grateful for the Atonement, and the recognition that it even covers this. That He knows exactly how it feels to not be myself and not like it. And I am grateful to start feeling like I'm coming back.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Seriously?!
If it wasn't MY own LIFE I might be able to laugh about this. I might even be able to give encouraging words of advice. I would probably say something like
"Everything will work out for the best. It always does"
Because that is USUALLY what I say to people when they say that they don't know HOW things are going to work out for them.
I would even share one of my favorite quotes:
"TO EXCERCISE FAITH IS TO TRUST THAT THE LORD KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING WITH YOU AND THAT HE CAN ACCOMPLISH IT FOR YOUR ETERNAL GOOD EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HE CAN POSSIBLY DO IT.
YOUR WILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT THE WILL OF THE FATHER WILL NOT CHANGE WHAT IN HIS WISDOM HE HAS CHOSEN TO DO...
I TESTIFY THAT WHEN THE LORD CLOSES ONE IMPORTANT DOOR IN YOUR LIFE, HE SHOWS HIS CONTINUAL LOVE AND COMPASSION BY OPENING MANY OTHER DOORS."
Elder Richard G. Scott November Ensign 1995
I might think that their situation doesn't seem THAT bad, so why are they losing FAITH?
"It could be worse"
right??
But I AM talking about MY own LIFE. And it really isn't funny anymore. :)
JT IS ON THE WAIT LIST FOR PUERTO RICO's P.A. PROGRAM.
That is right, we didn't get accepted off of the wait list for Pacific University last month, but we discovered what seemed like a dream come true-- a new program in Puerto Rico (where JT served his mission) After waiting 3 weeks for a response we found out that ONCE AGAIN Jt is on the WAIT LIST.
SERIOUSLY?!
I could go into the details about how this might seem like a step forward-- but it is actually really two steps back -- but the story is too depressing. So, I am not laughing. Not even at the irony of it all. I am just asking:
SERIOUSLY?
"Everything will work out for the best. It always does"
Because that is USUALLY what I say to people when they say that they don't know HOW things are going to work out for them.
I would even share one of my favorite quotes:
"TO EXCERCISE FAITH IS TO TRUST THAT THE LORD KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING WITH YOU AND THAT HE CAN ACCOMPLISH IT FOR YOUR ETERNAL GOOD EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN NOT UNDERSTAND HOW HE CAN POSSIBLY DO IT.
YOUR WILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT THE WILL OF THE FATHER WILL NOT CHANGE WHAT IN HIS WISDOM HE HAS CHOSEN TO DO...
I TESTIFY THAT WHEN THE LORD CLOSES ONE IMPORTANT DOOR IN YOUR LIFE, HE SHOWS HIS CONTINUAL LOVE AND COMPASSION BY OPENING MANY OTHER DOORS."
Elder Richard G. Scott November Ensign 1995
I might think that their situation doesn't seem THAT bad, so why are they losing FAITH?
"It could be worse"
right??
But I AM talking about MY own LIFE. And it really isn't funny anymore. :)
JT IS ON THE WAIT LIST FOR PUERTO RICO's P.A. PROGRAM.
That is right, we didn't get accepted off of the wait list for Pacific University last month, but we discovered what seemed like a dream come true-- a new program in Puerto Rico (where JT served his mission) After waiting 3 weeks for a response we found out that ONCE AGAIN Jt is on the WAIT LIST.
SERIOUSLY?!
I could go into the details about how this might seem like a step forward-- but it is actually really two steps back -- but the story is too depressing. So, I am not laughing. Not even at the irony of it all. I am just asking:
SERIOUSLY?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
could I be this cool??
I attended a Fireside a few months ago with Media as the Topic. The wonderful speakers addressed negative media and it's influence, but also POSITIVE media and it's power as well.
A lot of you know that I have been pretty "unplugged" this last month or so. I haven't returned your emails (OK that is normal) or checked your blogs (sorry) I haven't even watched T.V. I guess you could say it is my own personal DE-TOX. I have been trying to get rid of things that are not necessarily BAD but that DISTRACT me from the things that are BETTER. (and if you have had a conversation with me-- you know I am EASILY DISTRACTED!)
I have thought a lot about POSITIVE MEDIA. The speaker described the internet as an outlet to SHARE THE GOSPEL. And encouraged us to use it to do just that. I know that most of the people who look at my Blog are already members of my own faith-- so I guess this won't be much of a MISSIONARY tool-- but I am still going to use this chance to share my Testimony when I can.
I realize that just because we are members of His church doesn't mean that we don't have heartache, bad days, questions, doubts, and even sometimes feel very lost. So I guess we ALL need to hear eachother's Testimonies :)
SO Let's get to the part that makes me REALLY COOL...
I downloaded this Mormon Message from YouTube! That's right! JT isn't even here! I did this all by myself!! Maybe I should send an application to Microsoft! :)
(now that I bragged, I should actually check to make sure it works if you click on it!! how do I do that??)
Anyways- Here is a little Treat for all of us who need the reminder :) I know this is true.
A lot of you know that I have been pretty "unplugged" this last month or so. I haven't returned your emails (OK that is normal) or checked your blogs (sorry) I haven't even watched T.V. I guess you could say it is my own personal DE-TOX. I have been trying to get rid of things that are not necessarily BAD but that DISTRACT me from the things that are BETTER. (and if you have had a conversation with me-- you know I am EASILY DISTRACTED!)
I have thought a lot about POSITIVE MEDIA. The speaker described the internet as an outlet to SHARE THE GOSPEL. And encouraged us to use it to do just that. I know that most of the people who look at my Blog are already members of my own faith-- so I guess this won't be much of a MISSIONARY tool-- but I am still going to use this chance to share my Testimony when I can.
I realize that just because we are members of His church doesn't mean that we don't have heartache, bad days, questions, doubts, and even sometimes feel very lost. So I guess we ALL need to hear eachother's Testimonies :)
SO Let's get to the part that makes me REALLY COOL...
I downloaded this Mormon Message from YouTube! That's right! JT isn't even here! I did this all by myself!! Maybe I should send an application to Microsoft! :)
(now that I bragged, I should actually check to make sure it works if you click on it!! how do I do that??)
Anyways- Here is a little Treat for all of us who need the reminder :) I know this is true.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Help!!
Normally I don't like to ask for parenting help on my Blog... for a few reasons.
1. I usually think I am right and that no one else is as smart as I am. (why am I smiling that there is actually some weird truth to that statement! What is wrong with me??)
2. I don't want lame advise.
3. I usually read books to answer my questions.
4. I don't want to have to admit that I actually may not even use the advise given to me. (ex: you coming up to me on Sunday asking how your advise worked out for me- and I don't even remember what you told me to try!)
5. I usually like to Blog about funny things and not beg for help!
With all of that said.... HELP
Riley still naps. SHE is usually the one who asks to have books and go to sleep. She will usually sleep for about 1 1/2 - 2 hours in the afternoon. I LOVE THIS! I have even read a lot supporting the importance of naps till age 4 and have felt good that Riley still takes them. It is a wonderful blessing with a new baby to still have the older 2 taking naps. Because of Nap Time, I have time in the afternoon to snuggle Macie- or to finally clean the kitchen from Breakfast, or read, or fold laundry or any number of wonderful things that are hard to do with all of them running around.
So what is the problem?? She started to wake up GRUMPY from her naps. And it lasts about 2 hours. Is this just the age? Grumpy, whiney, sassy? OR is she oversleeping?? Also- she has started to stay up later!!! The days of everyone asleep by 7 are over!! Some nights she is up until 8pm! (I know there are a few of you rolling your eyes right now, but this is an emergency to me) So what do we do??
Yesterday we tried "Quiet Time". How do you guys do this? Do you have them stay in their rooms? Do they actually stay in there? Do you give them things to do? How do we transition from Naps to Quiet Time? I NEED THE DOWN TIME, so how do I get her to cooperate.
Yesterday I tried telling her she could play quietly with her toys in her room while Blake napped and that I would come and get her when Quiet Time was over. About 15 mins later she came in to me studying and begged me to read books and cover her with her blanket!! Is it just not time to give up naps? But what do I do about this unacceptable bedtime of 8pm! and the afternoon Grumpies? Maybe this is just life with an almost 4 year old.
So tell me what you have done. Tell me what works for you and your little ones.
HELP!!!!!!
1. I usually think I am right and that no one else is as smart as I am. (why am I smiling that there is actually some weird truth to that statement! What is wrong with me??)
2. I don't want lame advise.
3. I usually read books to answer my questions.
4. I don't want to have to admit that I actually may not even use the advise given to me. (ex: you coming up to me on Sunday asking how your advise worked out for me- and I don't even remember what you told me to try!)
5. I usually like to Blog about funny things and not beg for help!
With all of that said.... HELP
Riley still naps. SHE is usually the one who asks to have books and go to sleep. She will usually sleep for about 1 1/2 - 2 hours in the afternoon. I LOVE THIS! I have even read a lot supporting the importance of naps till age 4 and have felt good that Riley still takes them. It is a wonderful blessing with a new baby to still have the older 2 taking naps. Because of Nap Time, I have time in the afternoon to snuggle Macie- or to finally clean the kitchen from Breakfast, or read, or fold laundry or any number of wonderful things that are hard to do with all of them running around.
So what is the problem?? She started to wake up GRUMPY from her naps. And it lasts about 2 hours. Is this just the age? Grumpy, whiney, sassy? OR is she oversleeping?? Also- she has started to stay up later!!! The days of everyone asleep by 7 are over!! Some nights she is up until 8pm! (I know there are a few of you rolling your eyes right now, but this is an emergency to me) So what do we do??
Yesterday we tried "Quiet Time". How do you guys do this? Do you have them stay in their rooms? Do they actually stay in there? Do you give them things to do? How do we transition from Naps to Quiet Time? I NEED THE DOWN TIME, so how do I get her to cooperate.
Yesterday I tried telling her she could play quietly with her toys in her room while Blake napped and that I would come and get her when Quiet Time was over. About 15 mins later she came in to me studying and begged me to read books and cover her with her blanket!! Is it just not time to give up naps? But what do I do about this unacceptable bedtime of 8pm! and the afternoon Grumpies? Maybe this is just life with an almost 4 year old.
So tell me what you have done. Tell me what works for you and your little ones.
HELP!!!!!!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Macie, the Peacemaker
Last June, 2009, while I was reading the Ensign I felt strongly that Heavenly Father wanted me to have another child. I was pretty concerned seeing as how Riley and Blake were already close in age, and Blake had not even turned ONE yet! But I felt like it was right- and a within the week we were pregnant. (which was MUCH faster than I had expected)
Throughout the pregnancy I thought I was crazy! Who has a three year old, a one year old and a new born? How would I be able to juggle all three kids so close in age!? What was Heavenly Father thinking??
Well, Miss Macie Josiane was born on February 26 and since then my "road of Life" has hit a few pot holes. If I was reading this post, instead of writing it, I might think "oh, no, poor Katie. Life is getting difficult because of her new baby!" or "the last thing Katie needs while her life is falling apart is a lack of sleep from a newborn!" But this is a completely different story.
It seems like every day that I wake up- SOMETHING else has fallen apart. Some NEW POT HOLE has threatened to swallow me up! Right when I think I can't handle one more thing- Macie wakes up...
In her Baby Blessing, she was blessed to be a Peacemaker in our home. Normally, I would assume that Peacemaker means that she will be the mediator in sibling squabbling. (which we have plenty of those :) But that may not be the case for her.
Every time I hit a pot hole, or road bump, or detour on this really rough patch on my little "road of Life" Macie is there. As I wrap her sweetly in my arms, and smell her soft baby skin, and look into her sweet dark eyes I am FILLED with PEACE. She is MY PEACEMAKER. I find myself carrying her around with me when I might normally let her sleep because of the peace I get from her presence. I find an ability to cope with things I never thought I could handle because of the powerful peace that she extends to me unknowingly. What might have seemed a burden (having a newborn during such trying times) has actually been my balm.
She is my peace. In her I find strength to endure and quiet refuge from the storms. She can't speak, she can't reassure me, she can't hug me, or do anything for me. And yet she seems to do everything for me.
I am SO grateful that I listened to Heavenly Father last June. I am grateful He gave me her. I am grateful for her Spirit. I am grateful for how aware of ME Heavenly Father is to bring me peace in this way. I look forward to someday being HER PEACE. Of being a friend to her, and a comfort and voice of assurance and hope, and all of the things she is to me...
a peacemaker.
Throughout the pregnancy I thought I was crazy! Who has a three year old, a one year old and a new born? How would I be able to juggle all three kids so close in age!? What was Heavenly Father thinking??
Well, Miss Macie Josiane was born on February 26 and since then my "road of Life" has hit a few pot holes. If I was reading this post, instead of writing it, I might think "oh, no, poor Katie. Life is getting difficult because of her new baby!" or "the last thing Katie needs while her life is falling apart is a lack of sleep from a newborn!" But this is a completely different story.
It seems like every day that I wake up- SOMETHING else has fallen apart. Some NEW POT HOLE has threatened to swallow me up! Right when I think I can't handle one more thing- Macie wakes up...
In her Baby Blessing, she was blessed to be a Peacemaker in our home. Normally, I would assume that Peacemaker means that she will be the mediator in sibling squabbling. (which we have plenty of those :) But that may not be the case for her.
Every time I hit a pot hole, or road bump, or detour on this really rough patch on my little "road of Life" Macie is there. As I wrap her sweetly in my arms, and smell her soft baby skin, and look into her sweet dark eyes I am FILLED with PEACE. She is MY PEACEMAKER. I find myself carrying her around with me when I might normally let her sleep because of the peace I get from her presence. I find an ability to cope with things I never thought I could handle because of the powerful peace that she extends to me unknowingly. What might have seemed a burden (having a newborn during such trying times) has actually been my balm.
She is my peace. In her I find strength to endure and quiet refuge from the storms. She can't speak, she can't reassure me, she can't hug me, or do anything for me. And yet she seems to do everything for me.
I am SO grateful that I listened to Heavenly Father last June. I am grateful He gave me her. I am grateful for her Spirit. I am grateful for how aware of ME Heavenly Father is to bring me peace in this way. I look forward to someday being HER PEACE. Of being a friend to her, and a comfort and voice of assurance and hope, and all of the things she is to me...
a peacemaker.
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